Dear Jacob: Jacob and Renesmee
by Renesmee The Musical Werepire
Summary: Year 2000, Jacob Black, a sergeant in the American Army, is home on leave. He doesn't expect much until Renesmee Cullen, the girl of his dreams, enters his world. Quickly swept into a love affair, fate threatens to tear them apart. Based on Dear John. T&M
1. Renesmee Cullen

**AN: Hey fans! After long awaited months, here is the first chapter of Dear Jacob! (Yeah, I know, calm down). Hope to hear from The Twilight Notebook fans! The cover here is on my youtube profile (RenesmeeTheWerepire) as well as the trailer and any extras I put up for this story :) I think I did a great job! So, enjoy!**

**I DO NOT OWN PLOT OR CHARACTERS! ALL GOES TO NICHOLAS SPARKS (GREATEST LOVE STORY WRITER OF ALL TIME) AND STEPHENIE MEYER (BEST INSPIRATION OF ALL TIME!)**

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><p><strong>PROLOGUE<strong>

When I was shot, do you want to know the first thing that came to mind: Wolves.

Suddenly, I'm eight years old again, listening to Old Quil tell the stories about how our elders protected our land as wolves, or werewolves. From the beginning of the tribe, to the stories of the cold ones... but through those memories, the story that stood out was the story of the third wife, and how she sacrificed herself for the tribe.

I'm a wolf, sacrificing myself for my country, fighting against the cold ones... but they don't fear me and my weapons because I have two holes in me holding me down...

Do you want to know the last thing that came to my mind before I blacked out?

You.

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><p><em>"There I was again tonight, <em>

_forcing laughter, faking smiles._

_Same old tired lonely place._

_Walls of insincerity_

_Shifting eyes in vacancy_

_Vanished when I saw your face._

_All I can say is it was_

_Enchanted to meet you._

_Your eyes whispered_

_'Have we met?'_

_'Cross the room your silhouette_

_Starts to make its way to me._

_The playful conversation starts,_

_Counter all your quick remarks like_

_passing notes in secrecy._

_And it was enchanting to meet you,_

_All I can say is I was_

_Enchanted to meet you._

_This night is sparkling,_

_Don't you let it go._

_I'm wonderstruck_

_Blushing all the way home._

_I'll spend forever wondering if you knew_

_I was enchanted to meet you._

_The lingering question kept me up,_

_ Two AM who do you love?_

_I wondered 'till I'm wide awake._

_And now I'm pacing back and forth_

_Wishing you were at my door, I'd_

_Open up and you would say,_

_'hey it was_

_Enchanting to meet you._

_All I know is I was enchanted to meet you'_

_This night is sparkling,_

_Don't you let it go._

_I'm wonderstruck_

_Blushing all the way home._

_I'll spend forever wondering if you knew..._

_This night is flawless,_

_Don't you let it go._

_I'm wonderstruck dancing around all alone._

_I'll spend forever wondering if you knew,_

_I was enchanted to meet you._

_ And this is me praying that_

_This was the very first page,_

_Not where the story line ends._

_My thoughts will echo your name,_

_Until I see you again._

_These are the words I held back_

_As I was leaving to soon:_

_I was enchanted to meet you._

_Please don't be in love with someone else,_

_Please don't have somebody waiting on you._

_Please don't be in love with someone else,_

_Please don't have somebody waiting on you._

_This night is sparkling, _

_Don't you let it go._

_I'm wonderstruck blushing all the way home,_

_I'll spend forever wondering if you knew..._

_This night is flawless,_

_Don't you let it go._

_I'm wonderstruck dancing around all alone._

_I'll spend forever wondering if you knew,_

_I was enchanted to meet you._

_Please don't be in love with someone else,_

_Please don't have somebody waiting on you."_

_-Taylor Swift, Enchanted_

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><p><strong>DATE: MARCH, 2000<strong>

**LOCATION: FORKS, WA**

Forks... the most rainiest, smallest, and most boring town on Earth. Not that the army is any different. It's not like in any war video game you've played. Even the thought that your life is on the line doesn't do much. If you must know, Forks is my home town... well, La Push is, but it's the same area so there really isn't any difference.

I was visiting-_ just visiting_- my dad in La Push. I was on leave for the spring, just like everyone else at school (I felt like such a child). I've never been to college. I finished high school and went straight to the army after a year or two. I had no money or grades for college then. I figured I should do something with my life, unlike my married sisters.

Sure, I've had a girlfriend or two, even thought I was in love once, but of course, I wasn't enough for them. I'm not a distant relationship kind of guy. I've seen people in the army writing and receiving letters and talk about wives and girlfriends all the time. I was bad news anyways, but I'll explain that later on, this isn't the story of my childhood, not completely.

My dad and my relationship isn't what you would call verbose. We don't talk much, and barely through letters. There used to be a time when me and my dad were really close, but now, that's history.

My dad has a weird obsession with the Quileute legends, which are complete bull crap to me. I stopped believing them a long time ago. To me, believing in those stories is like believing in crap like Santa actually puts presents under your Christmas tree.

"Are you sure that you want to go?" My friend Kirk said to me. "I know you don't like Forks much, the way you talk trash about it." I shrugged.

"I really have nothing better to do, besides, I promised my sisters that I'd check on my dad every chance I get." Kirk shrugged.

"Why can't you just tell them something came up?" I shook my head.

"No can do. Rebecca lives in Hawaii and Rachel's on a second honey moon." Kirk sighed.

"Well, okay. Go get your old man." I smiled and gave him a manly hug. "See you in two weeks.

After the long flight to Seattle, I took the bus back home. I met my dad at my old house, he was sitting on the porch.

"Hi, Dad." I said, feeling awkward.

"Hello, Jacob." he said, reading another Quileute book. I took my bags and brought them into my bedroom, taking off my boots and putting them in the closet. Dinner was done so I didn't hang my army suit up yet.

Billy and I ate dinner in silence, Monday is meatloaf night so I didn't question anything about dinner even for conversation before. I even knew what we were having for the next two weeks. That's my dad, always on schedule.

"So, um, dad." I said, trying to get rid of the tension between us. "How's Charlie?" Of course I would mention Billy's only friend, Charlie Swan, Chief of police.

"He's fine." He mumbled. "Same old Charlie..." I nodded and continued eating again. Then he sighed. "His granddaughter is coming into town for spring break, some kind of project having to do with repairing a flooded house."

"Hm." Was all I said.

The rest of dinner was silent until I told him I'd do the dishes.

"No, no, Jake. I'll do it." he said, wheeling himself to the sink. Did I mention he's disabled? Yeah, he's in a wheel chair.

I figured there was no point in trying. My dad had to get his way, no matter what. He'd keep arguing with you until you gave up, not that you have to. He won't yell at me or anything, he never has, even when my mom was around.

I had a good sleep in my regular bed, in my regular room, in my regular home. My army suit was in my closet but kept my dog tag on my bedside table; I always wore my dog tag, just to show who was boss around here and not to mess with me. But I'm not like the vietnam people who just say "I've seen some things, man..." with an eye patch and a missing arm or something. I only have a scar above my right eyebrow, but no one would really notice it. I don't even remember what I got it from.

When I woke up Billy was already starting to eat breakfast: his infamous pancakes. I joined him with a good morning and he just nodded.

Regular meal time, I was just thinking about what to do today. It was nice today so I thought I may as well walk to the beach today with some old friends, not that I have many. They just tolerated me.

As soon as I finished, I changed from my boxers- usual sleep wear- to swimming shorts and a grey hoodie. I grabbed my surfboard and started walking.

It wasn't that long of a walk to the beach. It's about fifteen minutes away from my house. I would've been there in about less then five minutes driving or taking my motorcycle, but I enjoyed the walk. I was actually glad I did since the beach was crowded. Full of Forks kids, Quileutes, I saw almost everyone I knew there.

Quil Attera, my cousin who idolizes me, was buried in a body sand castle with his girlfriend, Claire, who was building it. He was the first to see me.

"Jake!" he said. I smiled and waved, he was actually a really good guy, one of the few I would actually call a real friend. He got out of the castle and ignored Claire's yelling and ran to me. He hugged me with his sand covered arms.

Quil really wanted to join the army like me, but since he was only sixteen, he was underaged. I wouldn't have minded us hanging and joking around at the army camps, don't get me wrong, I have a lot of friends in the army, but they're not anyone I can really relate to, especially the fact that a majority of them are either married or have girlfriends.

"Are you bleeding anywhere? Got a scratch? Bullet? Broken bones?" I laughed.

"No, Quil." I said, still laughing, Then I got him in a head lock playing.

I finally surfed for a while, hung around Quil and my high school friend, Embry. Mostly, I ignored people's dirty looks though. Bad news Jacob, back with his attitude and his tough look. I'm a changed guy since I've joined the army, but no one really believes it. If they wanted to talk, they should walk up to me and see for themselves. My dad's kind of isolated all the time, so no way he could tell anyone himself.

Finally, my favourite part of the day came: the sun set. Everytime I was at the beach or anywhere else, I loved to watch the sky turn from blue or grey to orange and yellow and slowly to black. It's the most beautiful thing.

When I was at the beach, I would always look at it by the cliffs. I was there early today so the sky was still a little blue. When it was about to turn orange, I heard someone behind me. I turned seeing it were two guys, about my age, who I never saw before. One had black hair and dark skin and the other had light brown curly hair that was covered in a hat and pale. They were wearing jeans and a tee shirt, definitely not from around here.

"C'mon!" said the pale one. "What's taking you two so long?"

"Spring break will be over by the time you get up here if you don't hurry." said the other.

I moved a little bit to get a better view, also I preferred to be alone during this time, it was a time to relax and I wouldn't let college students ruin it.

"Nahuel! You know it's hard to climb in flip flops!" a high pitched voice said. Oh, I guess there's a girl here.

"And Emmett, keep your mouths shut or spring break will be the end of you." said another voice, not as high pitched but enough to know it was a girl.

Huh, two girls and two guys... figures.

I zoned them out to my sunset. Beautiful as always, but then I got bored for some reason and decided to listen to what they were saying. But in order to do that, I'd have to look at them.

The one with the high pitched voice had spiky black hair, pixie like, she wasn't bad looking either, but she had a boyfriend who wasn't here by the sounds of it. Then came the one who threatened the brown haired one, Emmett:

She had wavy copper hair that flowed to the middle of her shoulder blades, pale skin like her friends and by the looks of it, she had brown eyes. She was by far, the most beautiful girl I've seen and I knew then, I had to have her.

I didn't really get to think of a way to impress her, this _had_ to involve thinking because it's been so long since I've ever been with a girl. but then the dark one, Nahuel, accidently pushed a bag over the cliffs. She gasped.

"Oh, no!" she said. "Nahuel! My entire life is in that bag."

"It's okay, it's okay," he said, not really much of an apology. "I'll go get it! I promise Ren!"

Nahuel started running down the cliff side to go around and get the purse, but I was already on my feet, taking off my sweater and diving in to get it.

The water was freezing now, but I ignored it, trying to look for her bag. I actually didn't have to look for very long since I remembered where it dropped. It was close to the ocean floor when I picked it up and started swimming back to the shore, where I saw Nahuel frowning and the copper haired girl, Ren I guess, running toward me. I walked toward her as Mike was saying, "I was going to get that..." to me, or himself, I really didn't know. "Thanks for going in there." Now that, I knew was for me.

"No problem."

"I can take it from here."

"Thank you!" The girl said when she reached me. She had my sweater in her hands and she gave it to me. "Here's you sweater. Alice has your surfboard."

"Thanks." I said, smiling. She was looking in her bag, probably to see the damage.

"What a mess..." she mumbled. She looked up and smiled, I think my heart actually stopped for a second, she was more beautiful up close. Believe me, I'm no romantic. And though I've heard all about love at first sight, I never believed in it until now.

I was wondering what to say next. My name? Go on a date? Wow, I was so clueless...

_STOP STANDING THERE LIKE AND IDIOT, JAKE!_ I was screaming in my head. _SAY SOMETHING!_

"I'm a soldier in the american army."

_WHY THE HELL DID I JUST TELL HER THAT? _I was cursing myself in my head. Ren actually raised her eyebrows.

"Really?" she said. "I bet it's scary."

"Boring, actually." she laughed, I laughed with her. Huh, it wasn't that bad.

"Well, I'm actually here with some people from school to repair a flooded house." she shrugged as if it was no big deal. I wondered if she knew Charlie's granddaughter.

"That's great! You're in school." It actually explained why I haven't seen her before. Her or her friends.

I wanted to talk to her more, but Nahuel got in the way.

"Well, um, thank you, Sergeant, for retrieving Ren's bag." he turned to Ren. I really wanted to punch him for interrupting, the old me would've. "We better get going, we have the barbeque, remember?" Her eye widened.

"Oh, right! I forgot!" She turned to me. "Well, thank you _so _much." she turned around, going in the same direction as I was. I followed.

I was behind her, I put my hoodie on while she walked with her friends. The pixie haired one whispered to Ren something and they giggled and Ren denied. Then she looked at me. I waved casually, then walked back to me as her friends kept walking.

"I'm just going in this direction." I said before she could ask if I following her, which is what I assumed she was going to ask.

"No, no, I get it." she giggled. She really liked to laugh, my kind of girl. "Do you want to come with us to this barbeque?"

_Was she asking me out? No, it's just an invitation to a party. Play it casual, Jacob._

"No, it's okay." I said. "I don't want to intrude, my dad's making dinner."

"Oh, okay." she said, with a little disappointment in her voice. "Well, c'mon. At least let me get you a beer or something. I have to repay you some how."

Nahuel kept looking back at us with eyes that showed jealousy. I chuckled.

"Well, okay. But I can't stay for very long." she smiled again.

"Of course," she put her hand up like a salute. "Sergeant..."

"Black." I filled in. "Jacob Black."

"Oh, well then, _Sergeant Black_, I'm Renesmee Cullen." This is where our story starts...

**AN: I'm very proud of this chapter :) Check my YouTube to see the Trailer for this (proud of it too) and The Twilight Notebook (based on The Notebook) and extras. Also, listen to me sing "Paperweight" on my channel (The Dear John theme song that plays like, a million times in the movie). And see my other stores... and I think that's it xD REVIEW! (Sorry, have to do this again) I need say... lets try at least 4 (I'm sure we can do better though)**


	2. Seth and a Full Moon

**AN: Thanks for the lovely reviews :) I wanted to reply to them all, but I didn't have the time (I have exams, tests, and EQAO coming up, Americans, don't bother asking :P). Just long explanation short: I one, will NOT tell you what happens next (tee hee) and two, you have to wait and see what trouble Jacob was into, three, if you don't understand number two, re-read number one.**

**Enjoy!**

**Ps, also, I forgot to mention that May 25 was the DVD release date of Dear John last year.**

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><p><em>"Love like this, m<em>_ay come once._

_Baby we're fate, l__ike a soulmate._

_You're my penguin._

_Baby we're fate, b__aby we're fate.__"_

_-Christina Perri, Penguin_

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><p><strong>LOCATION: LA PUSH, WA<strong>

**PLACE: FIRST BEACH**

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><p>One of the College kids got a license from that beach shop by the parking spaces. It was tribal law you can only make a bonfire if you have a five dollar license. So we approached the big crowd of kids partying. I wasn't sure who would be cleaning afterwards but it wasn't going to be me. I was only going for a decent beer and that's it. I wasn't really in a rush to get home. Billy wasn't the angry type so he wouldn't get mad about me being late for dinner.<p>

"So, do you have any relatives here?" I asked, randomly.

"Yeah, a grandfather. Chief of police." I stopped walking. So this is Charlie's infamous daughter? Coincidence or fate?

"Really?"

"Yeah. He's my mom's father." I bit my lip.

"Hm..."

"What?" I laughed.

"Nothing... it's just that my dad is best friends with your grandpa." she started to laugh with me because of the irony.

We reached the group of teenagers and Renesmee left to get me the beer she promised. I was sitting on a piece of drift wood when she came back, holding my beer and a bottle of water for herself. I figured she was the type who doesn't drink.

Renesmee and I had a great talk, we talked about family, work, friends, and Nahuel who kept giving me menacing eyes. She was an amazing girl, I really liked her. It was really easy to impress her, especially since she took a big interest in my so called job. She would listen and laugh at my jokes...

As I was talking to her about Kirk, when a little kid ran into Renesmee and hugged her from behind.

"Okay!" she giggled, knowing who it was. "Brady, I know it's you!" she turned around and the kid hugged her again. "I knew it!" They both laughed.

"Rennie!" The kid said, hugging her again. Wow, kid really likes her.

"Hey, Brady." she said, hugging him back. When they let go, the kid looked away when he saw me. Renesmee noticed.

"Say hello to Jacob, Brady." He still didn't look at me. Must've been shy. "You're not into talking today, are you? Where's your dad?" Brady turned around and pointed to a man roughly Renesmee's age and looking oddly familiar. He was obviously Quileute due to his cropped black hair and tanned skin and muscles. I couldn't put my finger on who it was though.

"Two steps behind, as usual." The man said smiling at Renesmee, ignoring me for a moment. Renesmee laughed at his joke and hugged him. "Glad I found you, your parents called a while ago."

"I'll call them in the morning, Seth, don't worry about it." Familiar name, too... he nodded and finally turned to me, smiling. "Well, well, Jacob Black?" I nodded and he held out his hand, and I shook it. "I'm Seth Clearwater." I wanted to hit myself in the head just then because of my stupidity.

Why didn't I see it before? Seth was a year younger than me. He dropped out of school because he knocked up his girlfriend and, last time I heard, he eventually got married when he turned eighteen. I didn't know it was true though, _Brady_ was his kid?

"Oh, really?" I said, acting less surprised than I was. "Wow! Seth, you've really changed." Seth looked more mature than I remember him looking. "Where's your wife?"

"Oh, she's on vacation." At the corner of my eye, I thought I saw Renesmee make a face. I ignored it. "So, I hear you joined the army."

"Yeah,"

"Well, I hope you're enjoying yourself." I smiled.

"Yeah, I think so." I expected to say something about my past, but he didn't.

"Well, it's nice seeing you again." He took Brady's hand and then turned to Renesmee. "Rennie, stay out of trouble." She rolled her eyes.

"Will do, Seth." Seth left then, hand in hand with Brady heading else where. "Bye, Brady." I said, interacting a little, to impress Renesmee a little.

"Bye, Jacob!" Brady shouted back at me. Seth turned around and made a face, looking surprised, then ran after Brady when he started to run.

"Wow..." Renesmee said in shock. "That was amazing... Brady never talks to anyone, except for family..."

"He talked to you." I could tell, she was not related to Seth, maybe a friend or something.

"Well, yeah, I'm practically his family, I've known him since he was born." Oh...

"Well... that is something..." I whispered.

Renesmee and I decided to take a walk later on when the moon was out, walking out the food we just ate. She got herself a jacket because it got chilly at night.

"Don't you think Renesmee's a long name?" I asked, randomly.

"What?"

"Renesmee... it's a mouth full."

"Well, people call me Rennie, and Ren..."

"Well, what about Nessie?" I don't know where I got the name from, it just came to me, it sounded nice out loud, too.

"Well...no... but, I like it." She smiled at me and I smiled back.

"Great, so I'll call you that from now on."

"I'd like that." I suddenly stopped when I saw the full moon out tonight, and I held my thumb out. "What are you doing?" she asked.

"Well, it's a full moon... and even though it's so far away, it will never be bigger than your thumb." She did it herself to see if it was true. Sure enough it was.

"You're right." she said, turning her thumb in different angles to see if it would change.

Eventually, I decided it was getting late and Billy would worry about what was going on. I wanted to stay with Nessie longer, I was really into her, I haven't felt this way in a really long time.

"Well, I better get going." I said.

"Aw," Nessie gave me a playful pout and laughed afterwards. After she calmed down, she got serious. "Are you sure you can't stay for longer?"

"Nah, my dad might be getting worried. And I think your boyfriend thinks I'm stealing you." I pointed at Nahuel as I said the last part.

"He's not my boyfriend. He only wishes." I laughed, thinking it was a joke at first, but she had a serious face, and I stopped. "I'm not his type, but he doesn't know it."

I was silent, thinking.

"What?".

"Nothing... it's just that you seem like _everyone's _type." She rolled her eyes, but didn't ask for any more info. We were silent and then I bid her goodbye, after exchanging phone numbers.

"Well, do you want a ride?" she offered.

"No, I can walk. La Push isn't that dangerous." I didn't say that people consider it because I'm in town, that I'm the one La Push is scared of.

"What ever you say." We laughed again.

"So, I'll see you soon, then?" she smiled.

"I'll see you soon, then." she agreed.

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><p><strong>AN: Let's try 5 or more? Don't be shy! REVIEW!<strong>


	3. Ice Cream and Dreaming

**AN: So happy with the reviews :) Sorry, this is a short chapter, but one, this is actually an important chapter, and two, the next one I think you'll love :) So, enjoy!**

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><p><em>"I've just seen a face,<em>

_I can't forget the time or place where we just met,_

_She's just the girl for me _

_and I want all the world to see we've met"_

_-The Beatles, I've Just Seen a Face_

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><p><strong>LOCATION: LA PUSH, WA<strong>

**PLACE: STREETS OF LA PUSH**

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><p>The walk seemed longer than I thought, other than the downside of me taking my surfboard with me, it was a good thing I decided to walk instead of taking my noisy motorcycle or car, I didn't honestly want to wake the neighbor hood up. But the neighborhood wasn't on my mind, it was Nessie.<p>

She was so beautiful, it was hard to believe she was Charlie's granddaughter. I should've recognized the curls, I wondered what to tell Billy.

I was about three quarters home when a car started to drive beside me. The window opened when I looked at it, it was Seth Clearwater, with Brady in the passenger seat.

"Hey, Jake," he said, smiling. "Do you need a ride? We're just about to get some ice cream."

"No, no," I turned down, politely. Actually, it was freezing, I wouldn't have minded getting into a warm car. "Thank you, though."

"Nah, Jake, it's freezing. Get inside." He stopped the car and gave in to his offer, as Seth told Brady to get into the back seat.

"Thanks," I said, going shotgun after putting my board to the trunk.

"Ah, no problem." Seth smiled, nice kid. He got the car up and running again, and I began to warm up again. "Hey, Jake," he said, starting to make conversation. "Out of curiosity, why did you of all people join the army?" I laughed.

"I figured I should make something of my life for once." Seth nodded in understanding. As we talked, Brady was occupying himself throwing his _gameboy_ up and down and saying random words. I ignored him, understanding his condition, it brought me sympathy to Seth. Poor kid.

"It must be rough, I mean your dad is alone at home, you must write a lot."

"Um... sure." I never agreed, but I didn't disagree with him. I changed the subject. "So, how are you related to Nessie?" Seth didn't comment on my nick name, or question it, he answered the question.

"I'm a friend of the family, always have been. Her mom used to baby sit me when she lived her before she got married, and she took me in when my mom kicked me out for knocking my girlfriend up." That made sense. "Now, Rennie does the sitting with Brady since he adores her so much."

_Who doesn't?_ I thought.

I told Seth to pull up at my house, once again turning down his invitation of ice cream.

"Thanks," I smiled at Seth and got out of the car when he pulled over on the driveway. I started to walk away after getting my board, when I heard Seth calling me. I turned around.

"Jacob, Rennie is very special to me. If you ever hurt Rennie, I'll have to break something... I mean like a leg or something." I gave him a look, and he rolled his eyes. "It's just something her father would expect me to say, it would sound more natural coming out of his mouth." I laughed, but nodded.

I actually thought Seth couldn't actually do it, since he was younger than me and I was practically buff compared to him, not that I would hurt Seth back.

"It sounded fine." I just said.

"It sounded fine." Brady repeated.

"No, it didn't." Seth laughed.

"It did! It really did!"

Seth was probably the most mature guy I've seen, so chill yet he has an autistic kid.

"Bye, Seth." I said, heading toward the front door.

"Bye, Jacob. Nice seeing you again." Seth called back as Brady kept honking the horn, then drove away when it stopped. I walked through the door and saw Billy reading a book, as always.

"Hi, dad," I called.

"Hey, Jake," he said, not looking at me. I waited for him to say more, but as usual, nothing came.

"Um... Sorry I wasn't here for dinner, I was visiting some friends. Seth Clearwater is in town." Billy's eyes shifted to me, suddenly interested.

"Really?" I nodded. I wanted to say I thought I had a crush on Charlie's granddaughter-yes, I just figured it out. She was the only one on my mind, it _had_ to be it- of course, I didn't say anything though.

"Well, that's interesting." he just said, then went back to his book. I waited for him to say something else, then decided to just head to bed, I was tired, and I had a feeling I was going to dream of Nessie tonight...

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><p><strong>AN: Sorry if I didn't make it clear enough that Brady is autistic. In the book, Alan (Brady's character) wasn't there until the end, I made this more like the movie so, it's different than having an actor show you. And sorry I made it obvious with Jacob saying it (I have a feeling at least one reviewer will point it out) there was no other way for Jacob to say it that won't offend... REVIEW REVIEW! <strong>


	4. Our First Date

**AN: So happy with the quick reviews, you get a reward: a quick update xD Quick reviews gets quick updates :) So, here you guys go! :D**

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><p><em>"My heart stops when you look at me,<em>

_Just one touch, now baby I believe_

_This is real, let's take a chance and_

_Don't ever look back, don't ever look back."_

_-Katy Perry, Teenage Dream_

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><p><strong>LOCATION: LA PUSH, WA<strong>

**PLACE: BLACK HOUSE**

_C'mon! Jacob, it's just dinner, it's not like it's a date... what the hell am I thinking? Of course it is!_

I was arguing with myself weather or not to call Nessie. I was pacing back and forth, running my hand through my hair and sitting down and standing. I had the phone in my hand, I just didn't know what to say. What if she didn't feel the same?

I was never this nervous, I used to be so casual and cool all the time. Sure, I changed, but I didn't actually know what to do with a girl I actually care about. My dad would never help with that.

Finally, I scrolled down the contacts of my phone and selected Nessie's name before I could stop myself. It rang twice and I thought about actually hanging up, but then, too late, someone picked up the phone.

_"Hello?"_ I didn't recognize the voice.

"Um... hi, is Nessie-I mean, Renesmee, there?" the voice laughed.

_"Jacob?"_ I raised an eyebrow, I recognized the voice now. "I'm guessing Rennie gave you our number."

"Um... I guess so, Seth." _Damn! Don't tell me I got played_.

_"Well, your luck, Rennie just got home."_ I tried not to make my relief audible. So, she lives with Seth. Makes sense.

_"Hey,"_ I immediately smiled, my heart beat fast. Hearing her voice... but now I started to panic, how was I supposed to do this?

"Hey..." I tried to sound smooth, I don't know if I succeeded or not. "Um... it's Jacob."

_"And how are you?"_ she giggled, I had to sit down.

"Fine... fine..." _C'mon Jacob._ "Um... I had a lot of fun last night." she chuckled.

_"Even better than in the army?"_ I laughed myself, she remembered what I said about the war being boring.

"A million times better." Now or never now. "Um, I was wondering if you wanted to do it again... tonight?" I tried not to hit my head with the phone, but I heard her as she talked.

_"Um... Tonight's chicken, I don't think you'd like it._" Not rejection yet.

"I was thinking we could have someone else do the cooking." _Smooth line, that's gotta be the smartest thing you've said to he_r.

_"Are you asking me out?"_ I bit my lip.

"Yeah... I kinda am." There was a pause and I held my breath.

_"Um, sure. I mean, I'm free and it's better than chicken." _I breathed and laughed, containing my excitement.

"Awesome!"

_"Okay, Jacob, I gotta go but I'll text you my address,"_ _Or Seth's. _

"Great. I'll pick you up at 6?"

"_Sure. Bye_." We hung up then and I started doing my happy dance until Billy told me to keep it down.

* * *

><p>"Hey, Jake."<p>

Quil stood at my door step, already opened door as if I already invited him in. I usually would greet him with a fist pound or something, but I was stressing out trying to find the keys to my motorcycle.

"Not now, Quil, kinda busy." I looked places I looked before at least ten times and Quil stood there until he held up the keys in his hands, jingling them. I rolled my eyes and grabbed them from him with a mumbled thanks.

"So, anyways. Do you want to smash some mailboxes or something? Play some _gameboy_? I'm bored as hell."

"Can't." I rushed past him and closed the door behind me, rushing to the bike.

"Jacob Black has somewhere to go?" He looked at me and back to the house, looking in the windows as I set up my helmet and sat down on the seat. "What? Did your dad get sick?" I groaned in annoyance.

"No, Quil." I stood up proudly. "I have a date," I dropped the smile. "Which I'll be late for if I don't hurry." I adjusted my helmet since it's been a while since I've ridden and I started the engine.

"Wait!" Quil said, I turned to him, rolling my eyes. "_Jacob Black, _the bad ass, has a _date_?"

"I know, shocking, now I _gotta go_." Quil backed off as I reved the engine. "Tell me about it later!"

I knocked on the door, double checking to see if this was the right number. Sure enough, it was, but being in the army, I was in habit to double check everything. I half expected Seth to answer the door, and there he was, and he greeted me with a smile.

"Hi, Jake!" His smile was contagious.

"Hey, Seth."

"You're here for Ren, right?" I nodded. "I'll get her for you, come inside."

"Thanks." I wiped my shoes on the mat set up for that very reason, and took one step inside as Seth left to get her.

The house was nothing special. Better than my shabby house for sure, the refrigerator matched, unlike in my home kitchen, and there were scented candles that weren't lit yet on the side tables with mirrors on the wall. It was also a one story like my house

_"How do I look?"_ I heard Nessie's muffled voice say.

_"You look beautiful, as always."_

I started to tense a little, nervous, maybe. Jealousy, maybe. Perhaps it was because I was worried about Seth's intentions with Nessie. They _were_ roughly the same age, she adored his son, and his tone he used when he said she was _special_, but then again, Seth was married, no way it could be like that.

_"Thanks, Seth."_ The door opened and I straightened up, trying to look as casual as possible.

Nessie came out looking beautiful as always. She wore a white sundress with lace leggings (Thank God), and a belt to add the finish. Her hair stayed down, some of it pinned away from her face. Best of all, she was wearing her breath taking smile.

"Wow," Was all I said, smiling. "You look great!"

"I could say the same for you." She gestured to my plaid shirt and jeans. "I feel over dressed now."

"No, no. It's fine." I assured her. She gave me a look to see if I was lying. She crossed her arms.

"Okay, where are we going exactly." Suddenly, I got scared. What if she didn't like where I was taking her. I think she noticed because she said, "Don't worry, I'm fine where ever we're eating, I just need to know what kind of restaurant. Fancy? Casual?" Oh.

"What you're wearing is fine, Ness." She shrugged, taking my word for it, and got herself a green corduroy jacket, which I recognized as the same one from the night before, and a small purse.

"Ready?" I asked.

"Yeah," I opened the door for her as Seth called for her to have a good time.

**LOCATION: PORT ANGELES, WA**

The sun was setting as we went down the highway to Port Angeles. Nessie asked me why I brought my motorcycle if we were going to have a half hour drive, I told her truthfully it would be faster since it was only a one way street and we could avoid traffic.

I parked the motorcycle from a walking distance to the restaurant, _Bella Italia._ She didn't mind, since the girl didn't like wearing heels. I was about to enter the restaurant when we were stopped by an unfamiliar man.

"Hey, Black," he said, blocking the door. "I don't want any trouble." Oh, fun, Nessie will probably be asking questions later.

"There won't be." I wanted to roll my eyes, but that would be impolite. "I promise."

The man gave me a suspicious look, deciding weather or not to believe me. Finally, he sighed and opened the door and gestured Nessie to walk in first. She thanked him and I followed behind, throwing him a look.

When we were seated, I looked at the menu trying to remember what I ate the last time I was here. Nessie looked at me instead.

"What was that?" I looked at her, here we go.

"What was what?"

"That, back there." She gestured the door.

"Oh, nothing." I looked back at the menu, wanting to change the subject. I didn't feel like talking about my past, I wanted to know more about her. She snorted.

"That's BS, Jacob." _BS? Damn, this girl's a saint._ "Come on, I want to know all about you."

"No." I just said. It wasn't harsh, but got the point across.

"Why not?"

"Because it's not important." She bit her lip, narrowing her eyes at the same time.

I don't know if she was planning to protest, but what ever it was, she was interrupted by the waiter who looked at Nessie with dazed eyes, the kind that require a double take to make it less noticeable. When I got his attention, recognizing who I was, he kept his head down, trying to keep his eyes off my date, but snuck a peek every so often that I let pass. When he finally took our order- mushroom ravioli and spaghetti- Nessie seemed to have let the whole scene pass. The waiter brought our drinks and took an extra minute to look at Nessie again, then left when I started the next conversation.

"So, Renesmee Cullen," I tried to think a topic we didn't discuss on the beach. "Do you have a middle name?" she smiled, humored by my random question.

"Yes," she said. "It's Carlie."

"Is there a story behind that?"

"Yes, actually, my whole name." I raised an eyebrow, and encouraged her to go on. "My name, Renesmee, comes from both my grandmothers: Renee and Esme. My middle name is from both my grandfathers: Carlisle and Charlie. And my last, is just a passed down name from the infamous Father Cullen."

"That explains it," I commented.

"Explains what?"

"I mean, you're so..."

"Religious? Bible freak?" She rolled her eyes, unoffended. "I've heard them all, Jake." The way she said my name sounded like angels calling to me. I went back into topic.

"I was going to say the first one."

"Actually, believe it or not, my great grandfather hunted down mythical creatures like vampires and werewolves. My grandpa only chose to be a doctor after he passed, figuring the only way he was going to save lives is by practicing medicine." I laughed at the whole mythical creatures talk, thinking he's been looking in the wrong place. "I'm guessing you don't go to church." She went back to the old topic. I bit my lip and shook my head.

"I haven't been to church since I was probably twelve." She didn't seem offended, once again, probably from hearing this enough times to know it's expected.

"Well," she said, I had a feeling I wouldn't like what she was about to say. "You missed this morning's mass, but if you want, we can go to next week's service." I made a face and she bit her lip, probably just realizing what she just said. "I mean, if you really want to." I really didn't want to go, all I remembered from church was it was boring, then again, the more time I spent with Nessie, the better.

"Sure," I said, before I could change my mind. "Why not?" She smiled like a kid on Christmas, and I was glad I said yes.

"Great!"

Our waiter came then and set the mushroom ravioli in front of Nessie and the spaghetti in front of me. As we ate, I thought of another question.

"What are you majoring in?"

"I don't know yet." she said after swallowing. "I mean, when I entered college, my dad told me to pick teachers, not the subject and by doing that, I learned way more than I thought I ever could. Who would've thought geography would've been so much fun?" I laughed and nodded, going along. "I can't seem to find any kind of profession I would take an interest in."

"Why don't you be a teacher?" I recommended without thinking. "I mean, you're really wise, I learn a lot from you."

"I took it into consideration," she said. "But I don't know. It doesn't sound so... me." I shrugged, once again, going along with what she was saying.

We were silent for a while, enjoying our meal. I was done before she was, even with such a small plate like hers. As she finished I asked her if it was good and why she picked so quickly, I didn't realize she knew what she wanted almost instantly when she looked at the menu before.

"Oh, my mom and dad came here on their first date or something." she shrugged. "She said it was good and so I thought maybe I'd give it a try." she lifted her fork, balancing the last piece of ravioli on it. "And she was right." she took a bite and smiled and I took a sip of my iced water.

She pushed away her plate and did the same as me and waited for our waiter to come and give me the bill.

"What do you want to do?" I asked, kind of dumbly. Of course I was going to take her home, but I wanted to see if she wanted this night to last longer like I did. Then she said something I didn't expect _any_ girl to say.

"I want to meet your dad-tonight."

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><p><strong>Hope you guys liked it ;) (took forever to write it at the time :P). Okay, if you review quick (5 at the least) I'll update asap :)<strong>


	5. Meeting my Dad and Love

**AN: I would've updated earlier but had some tests and stuff I can't even remember on the spot xD (Blame Seth McFarlane... American Dad...) Anyways, I'm sure you'll love this chapter :)**

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><p><em>"Been up all night starring at you<em>

_Wondering what's on your mind._

_I've been this way with so many before,_

_But this feels like the first time._

_You want the sunrise go back to bed,_

_I wanna make you laugh._

_Mess up my bed with me,_

_Kick off the covers I'm waiting._

_Every word you say I think_

_I should write down._

_Don't want to forget come daylight."_

_-Paperweight, Joshua Radin and Schuyler Fisk_

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><p><strong>LOCATION: LA PUSH, WA<strong>

**PLACE: BLACK HOUSE**

* * *

><p>As I parked my motorcycle in my garage, and then stalling as I gave Nessie a little tour of my crap<em> hideout<em>, I wondered what would happen when Billy met Nessie, or what Nessie would think of my dad. I mean, she's practically friends with everyone, but how would my dad react to something like this: Me bringing a girl home so soon in our relationship? It was weird.

I couldn't stall for long, when I told her about my 1986 Volkswagen Rabbit, she was interested and listened when I told her my story, but then she brought up my dad and I had no other choice but to bring her to the house, mentally crossing my fingers my dad was asleep, even though the light was on in our living room. Sure enough, my dad was there, reading yet another book about our Quileute tribe. He looked up with confused, and scared eyes when he saw me with Nessie.

"Hello," Nessie said, as I was shocked she was the first to speak.

"Hello," Billy said back. Nessie casually walked across the floor toward my dad's wheelchair and held out her hand.

"I'm Renesmee Cullen," Billy shook it but didn't say anything, or even react to her name. "What are you reading?"

"It's um... a book." Nessie giggled.

"I can see that. What is it about?"

"Um... they're Quileute legends."

"Really? That sounds interesting." She turned to me. "Jacob, you never told me your dad was so traditional." I told Nessie that Billy liked stories, I never told her he was obsessed or that he believed they were legends, like I said before, I don't believe in that crap so I technically didn't lie.

My dad's eyes seemed to shine when she said she took interest. He put in an old bookmark and went to his small bookshelf, stuffed with books that would always fall when you tried to take something out.

"Would you like to hear some?" Billy asked, already getting three thick books out of the shelf, with at least fifteen books scattered on the floor on top or each other that my dad ignored. Odd, usually he would pick them up instantly but instead he kept going, flipping open books to try and find the most interesting picture, which he showed her.

I've never seen Billy smile in such a long time until tonight. Nessie seemed to be interested in everything he was saying as he recited almost all the stories that I knew by heart. After roughly an hour of it, I told Billy we had to go and Nessie agreed, promising she'd come back. On the car ride back, Nessie talked about how she really liked Billy and how she never knew that my tribe was so interesting.

"You know, I never liked history, but the way your dad has a passion for it." She smiled wider. "I admire people like your dad. Passionate about things, it's inspiring."

"It's just my dad."

"Exactly." We pulled into Seth's driveway. "He loves you. Even though you can't see it."

"I know." We always say it before I go back from my leaves, but I never considered him meaning it. Nessie kissed my cheek and got out of the car, I opened my window so I could call out to her. "So, I'll see you soon, then?" She smiled.

"I'll see you soon, then." Then she went up the porch steps and into Seth's house.

* * *

><p><strong>LOCATION: LA PUSH, WA<strong>

**PLACE: FIRST BEACH**

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><p>"That's it?" Quil asked as I took my sweater off at the edge of the cliffs. "Just dinner, your dad and a kiss on the cheek?"<p>

It was still early, roughly six-thirty in the morning, still cloudy and looking like it was going to rain, probably a storm if I was lucky.

"It was a great night." I commented as I took my shirt off as well. "She actually... gets me." Quil rolled his eyes, showing a lack of interest.

"Whatever, dude. She'll be gone and you two will be history, right?"

I bit my lip, not liking the sound or the way Quil put it. It sounded like a one night stand, but Quil never understood what was going on between me and this girl.

He didn't know about how I tossed and turned all night, wondering what was going on in my head. He didn't know about how many times I wanted to text Nessie and picked up the phone just to put it down. He didn't know about how much sleep I lost_ from_ the tossing and turning, and the phone picking, all because of one girl, one girl who I crazily only just met two days ago. Damn, what is it about her that made me go crazy? Was this love? I've never been any kind of romantic, no way I believe in love at first sight.

I saw a silhouette figure below me on the beach, looking like it was waving at me. Then it called my name and I realized who it was.

"Dude, I gotta go." I said, taking my stuff, not bothering to jump anymore, and ran down the way I came to meet with Nessie. When I met up with her, she was already smiling and contagiously, I smiled back.

"Hi," I said.

"Hi, Jacob." We began to walk down the beach as we talked. "I just remembered last night that I forgot to tell you I had a really great time."

"I forgot to tell you I did, too." She giggled.

"Thank you."

"Hey, it's not problem. We should do something like that again sometime."

"I'd like that." She smiled suddenly after a minute of silence then before I could ask, she already was explaining. "You know, I usually never say yes when some one asks me out after only meeting them in one day." I raised an eyebrow, not really sure if I should be shocked, scared, or happy that I was an exception.

"Then why did you say yes?" She smiled.

"Because I wanted to, and I wanted to know more about you. I mean, it took one night just to take an interest in you." She shrugged. "I like you, Jake. That's why I said yes."

For a minute, I wondered if she's been doing as much thinking as I am at night. Did she also toss and turn at night? Does she feel connected to me as I do to her, even within one night. They way she described it, it was as if she was reading my mind exactly, like a book.

We continued to walk, not really knowing where we were going, too busy thinking on my part, until she decided to go somewhere in particular.

* * *

><p><strong>LOCATION: FORKS, WA<strong>

**PLACE: SILVERMEN HOUSE**

* * *

><p>I've never seen this house before, probably because it was in the middle of the woods. It still had it's wooden frames in and bricks getting started surrounding the small looking house. As we walked toward it, Nessie commented on her progress.<p>

"We only got started yesterday, and if it rains then that means we have to skip another day." she frowned. "It's barely even started, I'd hate to miss a day to the rain. It's selfish, me being this generous."

"You're a saint." She rolled her eyes, not believing me. "It's true! You don't drink, you don't smoke,"

"Nope." she agreed.

"You don't sleep around,"

"Definitely not."

"You do good things because you want to, I mean what other definition is there for a saint?" She smirked and rolled her eyes again.

"I'm no saint. I may be a good person or a Samaritan, but not a saint."

"Enlighten me." she paused, thinking.

"I curse." She finally said. I smirked.

"No," I said in disbelief. "Let's here one."

"No, because it's filthy." I laughed. "There's an unending list of curse words in my head. Trust me, Jacob. I have flaws."

I let that one sink in for a minute, silence until we reached the wooden house. Nessie started skipping away into the house, I followed.

"Here will be the kitchen- and it'll be big because the mom likes to cook." She pointed toward one corner and stretched her arms to show the meaning of the space she was in. "And here will be the dining room with a window. And the door will be right around the corner." She pointed, I listened, trying to imagine what she did. Then suddenly, it began to pour.

"Will there be a roof?" I asked, sarcastically, looking up, my face getting drops of water on it.

"Yes there will be!" She then took my hand, laughing, and directed us toward one area where pieces of wood was covering us from the rain, acting like a roof.

As we stood there, we stared at each other, only one piece of wood seperating us, like a pole. Without thinking I asked, "Did you ever have a boyfriend?" She smirked.

"What do you think?" I shrugged.

"I don't know." I said, honestly.

"Take a guess. You think I'm everyone's type..." She circled me and I looked at my feet, trying to figure out what kind of answer I could use.

"Um... sure." She seemed satisfied with that answer and then cocked her head to the side, looking curious. "What happened to them?" She looked away, biting her lip. "You don't have to answer." I said quickly.

"No, it's okay, Jake." She sighed, getting ready to tell a story. "I know this isn't the time to tell it, but I may as well be honest with you: I got involved with this one guy in my freshmen year and I thought he was nice and everything. I thought I loved him, even when people told me to stay away, I wouldn't listen. Then one day, he called me, drunk and I figured he needed me. When I got there, he was at a party and he..." She realized she said too much and decided to skip the details. "I got away but I cried in the hallways and people just laughed like I should've expected it. I had to call Seth to pick me up, he never mentions it." She looked at me. "I guess it explains why he's so protective of me. He did before but he does it like a job now." I laughed lightly and she smiled. "Have you ever been in love?" The question caught me for a second, but I answered.

"I thought I was, like you." She nodded, wanting me to expand on it. "I really cared for her, but I never thought of her when we weren't together."

"I get it." She smiled, then she pointed at my eyebrow and traced the scar there."What happened there?"

"Oh..." Honestly, I had a lot of bruises and scars that I didn't remember that were from, but this one I knew. "Just got into a fight with some guy who didn't like who I was." I didn't want to go into details.

"Who was that?" I knew she meant me.

"Somebody different." Was all I said.

"So, you used to be tough." I nodded.

"I used to play sports, but you know, my dad never supported me, so I quit. Then I started to smoke and drink, vandalize and hang out with the wrong people, and I barely graduated out of high school." I sighed. "I joined the army because there was nothing better to do. I got fired at every job I took and... I don't know, things just fell into place then, and I changed. People don't believe it, but they just don't know me." I realized then how bad my past sounded, it took talking about it out load to realize how much it really hurt that people didn't like me, or my past.

"It's horrible the way people treat you, just because of some stuff you did in your past."

"Welcome to Forks." She smiled. She stood slightly closer.

"Well, you don't scare me, Jacob Black. People at the restaurant, everyone in Forks may be scared of you, but I'm not."

"No?" I took her hand and looked into her eyes, leaning in more. "Well, you scare me." I wasn't lying either.

Standing under the rain with her, after a few moments of silent thinking, I wondered how in Hell could I, Jacob Black, have fallen in love with someone like Renesmee Carlie Cullen. I didn't say it though, for once, I was a coward. I'm usually so fearless, but not the Jacob that is in love. This was a whole different Jacob.

As I looked into Nessie's eyes, I didn't realize I was leaning more forward until I thought about taking her face into my palms, and I kissed her. She didn't pull away or fight. She went with the flow, both of our lips moving in sync with each other. I lifted her up and sat against the wood like pole on the floor and we never broke apart through it all. She let go at one point though.

"Are you okay?" I asked, considering her religion, feeling bad immediately.

"Of course," she whispered.

I tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear and whispered, "We belong together." Then continued where we left off.

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><p><strong>AN: :) Once again, quick reviews, quick updates. And sorry for making it fast, that was the one thing I didn't like about Dear John, trust me. Don't worry, you'll grow into it :) REVIEW REVIEW<strong>


	6. Dating and Our First Fight

**AN: Hey! I forgot to say, thanks to my pal Tully for giving me the name of the house Jake and Nessie had their first kiss :). So, here you guys go!**

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><p><em>"And I don't know how how it gets better than this,<em>

_You take my hand and drag me head first,_

_Fearless._

_And I don't know why but with you I'd dance_

_In a storm in my best dress,_

_Fearless."_

_-Taylor Swift, Fearless_

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><p><strong>LOCATION: LA PUSH, WA<strong>

**PLACE: BLACK HOUSE**

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><p>These last days, have been the best I've had- and probably will ever have.<p>

Nessie and I went everywhere together, holding hands, kissing when ever possible, I taught her how to surf and went cliff diving with her once. Everything was perfect, I never told her loved her... yet. She never told me either, but I never complained. It was usually the boy who says it first, right?

I was laying, relaxed on my living room couch and Nessie played her guitar she brought from home. She played an unknown song, I didn't know the artist either, but it was nice. Her voice had a ring to it, and when she finished, I kissed her again. She had to be careful not to get too carried away and drop the instrument, so she took a moment to put the guitar down before the make out session. When I let go, I started tickling her and she began running around the house, screaming and hid in the closet. I eventually got in and continued tickling and making out.

Billy stayed in his room, reading, not concerned about what was happening what so ever. Not that we would be doing anything inappropriate, Nessie wouldn't allow it and I respected her for that.

* * *

><p><strong>LOCATION: FORKS, WA<strong>

**PLACE: SILVERMEN HOUSE**

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><p>I tried not to pound my finger with the heavy hammer when I pounded the shingle into the roof of the Silvermen house. Nessie walked out of the forrest, and smiled when she saw me working. That feeling I couldn't explain.<p>

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><p><strong>LOCATION: LA PUSH, WA<strong>

**PLACE: BLACK HOUSE**

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><p>Nessie and Billy had plenty conversation as we ate dinner (Meatloaf Thursday today). Billy blabbed on about the stories I knew too well and I now understood as an adult, so I found myself learning, too. He even started telling her stories that weren't meant to be told to outsiders, but I thought Billy would tell me she was part of the family. It didn't matter, I stopped caring years ago.<p>

"Then, the third wife stabbed herself to save her husband." Nessie gasped while covering her mouth, engaged in the story.

"You mean, she killed herself, just to save her husband?" Billy nodded.

"I know, it sounds insane but, she's a hero."

"I wish they remembered her name. That's true love there."

_I would die for you._ I thought, but also thinking I should say it out loud sometime.

* * *

><p><strong>LOCATION: LA PUSH, WA<strong>

**PLACE: FIRST BEACH**

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><p>I parked my car on La Push beach with a heavy heart. This was the second last day Nessie and I would have together. Everyone on the beach were having a party, enjoying the warm weather, playing volleyball and frisbee. There was beer too and some people I could see were a little tipsy, including Mike.<p>

I ignored them and looked for Nessie, I had to ask around until I saw her bronze hair on the cliffs where we met. I ran and went up to see her and when I hid, I noticed she was crying. My original plan to scare her was deceased and I went to comfort her. I sat and put my arms around her, she had to look up to see if it was me.

"Why don't you go? There's a nice party down there." I said.

"I'm not in the mood." She sighed. "What about you?"

"I'm not going because you're not going." She put her head on my shoulder and sighed.

"It's just not fair. Why does our time together have to be so short?" I took her chin so she could look into my eyes.

"Ness, spring break may be over, but we're not. I'll write to you every day, as long as you reply back." She smiled.

"Of course I will!" I smiled back.

"Good. And don't worry, I'm only going to be there for another year, then I'll be home for good." She looked away again.

"But a year is such a long time."

"We can do it. We're both adults here, right?" She sighed.

"I know, but it's going to be so hard."

"I'll come home every chance I get. No one said being apart will be easy, but we're strong enough to hold onto what we have."

"Promise?" She looked at me again.

"I promise." She smiled and threw her arms and we started making out like teenagers.

On the way back, walking hand in hand, she told me she finally decided what she wanted to major in: Special Education.

"I can't believe it took me so long just to know." I smiled. "I mean, I've grown up with Seth, I've baby sat Brady and I adore him, it only took meeting your dad-," That caught me.

"Wait, what does my dad have to do with Brady?" We stopped walking, she let go of my hand.

"Um..." She bit her lip. This can't be good. "These things go undiagnosed sometimes, and sometimes-," She was avoiding the question, and I was slowly getting more angry.

"Are you saying my dad is like Brady? Are you saying my dad's retarded?"

"No! He's autistic." I looked away from her to try and calm myself. "There are minor forms of it, I mean, it would explain why he's like the way he is."

"My dad is nothing like Brady!" I yelled, I didn't care about scaring her. I turned back around, her face worried and scared, good. "Is that what you've been doing this whole time? Studying my dad like an animal in a cage?'

"No," She was reletively calm, trying to soothe me to go to her level, it didn't work though. "I just thought you should know, a professor at my school has a book you can read, I've read and studied it and I think I should know-," I wouldn't hear it.

"My dad is not normal, okay, I get that. I don't need you to tell me! Do you think I need you to tell me what I already know?" She was silent. I snorted. "Thought so."

I walked away then, off the beach. Unfortunately, I had to walk back to the party to get to my car. I didn't look back to see if Nessie was following but I didn't care. When I got to the party, the first one to see me was Nahuel, he walked to me with a beer in his hand, clearly drunkl.

"Hey, Sergeant, where's Rennie?" I kept walking and he followed. "Hey! I'm talking to you chief! Did you hurt her? She looks like she's crying!" I knew he couldn't know left from right if he had three guesses now. Then he pushed me, bad move. I turned to him.

"Do it again and I'll break your arm." I warned. He put his hands to his face like a boxer.

"Bring it, you don't scare me!" Tempting.

"Last chance." He lunged toward me and took his arm, threw him over my shoulder to the ground and broke it like a twig. He screamed in pain and another guy I didn't know came and I punched him, knocking him out from the impact.

"Jacob, calm down!" I heard Seth's voice, then I felt arms around my neck, another bad move. I turned and punched his nose, only to realize it was Seth as he was rolling on the ground in pain, holding his nose as blood dripped down his mouth. Nessie called Seth's name and ran to him. I was already gone by then, driving away and not looking back.

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><p><strong>AN: Wrote some of this in the car to the mall today, and the other during class when I was bored (you have NO IDEA how zoned out I get. One minute, my Geo teacher is talking about how to be more environmentally friendly, next minute, she's talking about a project on Monday), so you know the drill! REVIEW REVIEW!<strong>

**Oh, and don't be surprised if I don't update as quickly for the next two weeks or so, I have a play to work on (directing my own skit, yay!) and that geo project I was just talking about xD. And exams are coming along with EQAO so... don't worry, i'll update... IF YOU REVIEW ;)**


	7. Blame and My First Letter

**AN: SO SORRY GUYS! I meant to update sooner, but my computer broke and I had to get it fixed since my exams are in two weeks (don't worry, i was thinking about u guys too!). Sorry, this is short but it's important! So enjoy!**

_**PS, if I were to pick the song Nessie sang in the last chapter, it would be Arms by Christina Perri (LOVE that song and very appropriate). But the song was just released THIS year so it won't make sense, that's why I didn't put in. **_

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><p><em>"I wish I wasn't always wrong,<em>

_I wish it wasn't always my fault,_

_The finger that you're pointing has knocked_

_Me on my knees,_

_And all you need to know is..._

_'I'm sorry'_

_It's not like me_

_it's maturity I'm lacking_

_So don't let me go, just let me know..."_

_-Christina Perri, Sad Song_

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><p><strong>LOCATION: LA PUSH, WA<strong>

**PLACE: BLACK HOUSE**

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><p>I slept on what I did the day before. On one hand, I was proud, on the other, I knew I hurt Nessie by beating her friends, I especially felt guilty punching Seth. He did nothing wrong to deserve it, but at the same time I knew he should've known better.<p>

The next day, I wasn't sure how to say I was sorry, but then again, I had to consider the idea she may be right. I always knew Billy was different, but I never considered it to be medical.

That morning, I woke up earlier than usual, so I was able to catch Billy setting up breakfast. He was surprised to see me up early.

"Oh, Jake." He said.

"Hey, dad. Mind if I join you?"

"Sure," He took out more eggs and started to fry them.

I knew every move he was going to make, next he was going to ask me to set some toast, and sure enough, he did. Then he would get plates from the left side of the cupboard, and then get utensels in his left hand, and he did exactly that. After breakfast, he would do the dishes, even when I offered, he insisted...Huh...

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><p>Billy went out fishing, like every other Wednesday. I had nothing to do but wonder how I was going to tell her I was sorry and she may be right. Then I got an unexpected knock on the door. Of course, it had to be Nessie. I took a deep breath to tell her I'm sorry before she can even yell, but then when I opened it, Seth Clearwater was there.<p>

Seth had black circles under his eyes from the nose breaking, and his nose came out crooked, I got a gut feeling in my stomach, feeling ten times more bad about what I did to Seth.

"Oh," Was all I said.

"Hello, Jacob." Seth said, attempting a smile but winced in pain.

"I'm really sorry, Seth, I wouldn't have punched you if I knew it was you back there." He shrugged.

"Hey, I like it. I think it makes me look tough." I laughed a little, thinking it was appropriate to. "Can I come inside, I need to talk to you."

"Sure," I stepped aside and Seth walked in. For a second, I wondered if Nessie sent him here to send a message.

"Don't worry, Ren doesn't know I'm here." I breathed easier. "She's supervising the kids, I can trust her so things are getting done." I sat on a love seat and Seth followed.

"Is she mad at me?" I asked.

"She more mad at herself than you," he shrugged. "She told me about what she told you while we were at the hospital. Josh is awake now and Nahuel is in a cast, but she blames herself, she knows she shouldn't make assumptions since she's not a doctor." I nodded, knowing they were right. I took the blame, but Nessie took it herself, I really needed to talk to this saint.

"I blame myself." I said.

"Well, if you want to talk to her, I wouldn't do it at the beach, I heard the other kids talking about what they're going to do if they see you again." I sighed.

"Can you give her something for me?" He nodded and I went to my dad's study to get a piece of paper.

I knew I had to write something simple, and straight to the point. _I'm sorry_ wouldn't be enough, it's over used. Then I wrote three simple words and folded it. I went back to Seth and gave it to him.

"Don't worry, I won't read it." He promised.

"I'd appreciate that." I really didn't care if he did, but I knew he wouldn't. He then told me he had to go, telling me that Nessie couldn't control everyone for long, then as he drove away, I realized he was in love with her too.

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><p><strong>AN: Sorry, I know it's short but it seemed like the best way to end this chapter. REVIEW REVIEW<strong>


	8. Tell Me Everything

**AN: Hey guys. I may not be posting for the next two weeks since my exams and EQUO are coming this week along with my drama play (school assignment, but i'm sure i already passed ;). So, here's Dear Jacob, and I'm sure you'll LOVE this chapter :) Enjoy!**

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><p><em>"When you think Tim McGraw<em>

_I hope you think my favourite song,_

_The one we danced to all night long,_

_The moon like a spotlight on the lake._

_When you think happiness,_

_I hope you think that little black dress,_

_Think of my head on your chest,_

_And my old faded blue jeans._

_When you think Tim McGraw,_

_I hope you think of me..."_

_-Taylor Swift, Tim McGraw_

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><p>I decided to do some grocery shopping as I waited for Nessie to arrive. It took a lot out of me to write those words and give them to another man who loved her, but now I didn't know if she wanted me back. We didn't break up, we just fought. She <em>was <em>the forgiving type, but I still didn't count on it.

I bought some steaks and potatoes and what ever else I needed to make dinner. It's leftover night and if Nessie was right about my dad, he may not approve of this, but if I'm lucky, he'll let me off since I'm leaving again tomorrow.

When I got home, I used our ancient barbeque to grill the steaks after cleaning the cobwebs. My dad was surprised to see me cook but didn't question it.

"Hey, Dad," I smiled and my dad attempted one. "Put something nice on, dinner will be ready in twenty minutes."

When dinner was ready, my dad already had the table set, but he set it up for three people. My stomach clenched from the thought of the chair not being filled. Then I saw a car pull in and I walked outside. Nessie walked out and walked to me, smiling.

"I got your letter." She said. "Simple, sweet, straight to the point." She threw her arms around me and I lifted her into an embrace. "I'm so sorry, Jacob." She whispered over and over.

"It's okay, Ness." When I let her down, I got down to business. "Ness, I was watching Billy today and-"

"Jacob," she interrupted me. "Forget what I said. I'm no doctor, it's not my place to assume these things." I was about to tell her about Seth telling me the same, but I remembered she didn't know and I nodded.

"Are you hungry?" I asked.

"Yes," I smiled. "Starving."

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><p>After dinner, Nessie said she had to get going for the flight out. I took her to her car and she began to cry. I whipped away tears as I held her face.<p>

"It's going to be okay, Nessie. I promise." She nodded and got something out of her purse. It was an envelope with her contact information.

"You wrote your first letter, so I did too. Don't read it until you leave, too." I nodded and kissed her one last time.

"I'm going to marry you one day, you know." She smiled and laughed a little, which made me proud, but I meant it.

"Really?" I nodded.

"I mean it, I do. I meant what I said, I love you."

"I love hearing you say it out loud." I smiled.

"I'll scream it if you want." I hoped she wouldn't make me do it, and she didn't.

"I love you too, Jacob." I gave her a hug and kissed her head, whispering it over and over. I knew this would be a hard year.

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><p><strong>LOCATION: SEATTLE, WA <strong>

**PLACE: SEATTLE AIRPORT**

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><p>It took everything in me not to read Nessie's letter. I promised her, I knew that, and I kept it.<p>

My dad saw me off and I didn't give him much of a goodbye, which I regretted as soon I was on the plane and in the air. I looked down from the plane window at the thick amount of clouds. Then I figured it would be okay for me to read it now.

In the envelope was a picture of her, and I wished I had given her one of me. I put it aside to put in my wallet later and I began to read:

_Dear Jacob,_

_Two weeks. Two weeks together was all it took for me to fall in love with you. These two weeks were the best of my life, and I think you and I know that we're meant to be together. I know you're doing great things for our country, but another year of waiting for you will be so untolerable. How can one year compare to two weeks like we had? I know it will be worth the wait when you're back, but you are all I can think about, even now, while I'm in Toronto, I'm positive I'm crying for you. I love you, and that's all I know. I'll relive our time together a thousand times. I'll hear your laugh, see your beaming smile, I'll even feel your arms around me and your hand in mine, and I'll miss it even more than you can imagine._

_ You're a rare gentleman, Jacob, and I treasure that about you. You didn't press me into sleeping with you, and you have no idea how much that means to me, it makes our time together seem even more special._

_I'll think of you everyday. Part of me is scared that when you come back, you won't feel the same, you won't remember the short, memorable time we have. So during our time apart, I want you to promise me something: Tell me everything. Write me an email, on a napkin, call me, write it all down by letter, I don't care. That way, we'll feel like we're together again when we're not together at all. I also want you to look at the night sky and when a full moon is out, and remember the time we had, because that's what I'll be doing, no matter where I am. _

_I love you, Jacob Black, and I'm going to hold to the promise you made me. If you come back, I'll marry you. If you break that promise, you break my heart._

_Love, Nessie_

I didn't know where we are now as tears developed in my eyes. All I saw were the thick clouds, I wanted to turn around and be in the place I was meant to be.

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><p><strong>AN: :') REVIEW REVIEW!<strong>


	9. I Promise and Letters

**AN: Hey! I'm going to try and update every Sunday (if possible). This week are my exams, I'm pretending to study because I think it will be a breeze for me (except Geography on Wednesday, not looking forward to that). So, here you guys go. It was very hard to write the letters without the special font I use (I use hand writing font, as u may've seen in the trailer). So, BOLD is JACOB, ITALLICS is NESSIE. Enjoy!**

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><p><em>"Picture perfect memories<em>

_Scattered all around the floor._

_Reaching for the phone 'cause_

_I can't fight it anymore._

_And I wonder if I ever cross your mind._

_For me it happens all the time..._

_It's a quarter after one,_

_I'm all alone and I need you now..."_

_-Lady Antebellum, Need You Now_

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><p><strong>LOCATION: UNKNOWN<strong>

**PLACE: REFUGEE CAMP**

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><p>As soon as I got in, Kurt greeted me with a fist pound.<p>

"Hey, bro! I missed you!" I just smiled and brother hugged him back.

"That makes two of us." I said back.

"How was the your time with the old man?"

"Story time will have to wait, boys." Sam Uley, our leader, came walking in. "Right now, we have to go on a plane to Afghan." We didn't bother groaning, we're used to this kind of movement. "Let's go."

_We packed back our things and just like that, we were on a plane. We had to sleep on a pile of our own luggage and we spent the day there. I figured now, I could write to Ness without interruptions.L_

**_Dear Nessie,_**

**_I promise. I promise to tell you everything. I promise to think of you every minute of my life, even after the army, and I promise to love you forever. Most importantly, I promise I'll come back and when a full moon is out, I'll think of you. For now, there are some things I have to tell you:_**

**_Today, we were sent to some kind of Refugee camp, I have no idea in the world I am now, but I think it's somewhere in South America. We're not allowed to say exactly where we are so I hope you can forgive me for not telling you that. _**

**_Now, unfortunately, there is no internet here, and poor phone reception, so we may have to just communicate by letter (As a side note, it will give me something to look forward to). Since letters seem to come out of order, we may have to number them from now on. Here's a picture of me, I kept yours safe and close to my heart. _**

**_I miss you so much already..._**

**_I love you,_**

**_Jacob_**

I found a picture of me somewhere in a book I was reading before and enclosed it into the envelope. I gave it to the mail carrier, telling him not to lose it, and I watched the plane leave. I started counting the seconds until I got my next letter.

_Letter #3_

_Dear Jacob,_

_Thank you for the picture. I have to admit, I cried seeing it, but all the same, it's in my wallet. I didn't cry because I was sad, it's because I remember everything from your beautiful face: the one that took my breath away. _

_It's so easy for people to say what we had was a "fling". Seth is the only one who believes and supports me in this. It hurts to know you're so far away, but to think we're under the same sky, seems to help._

**_Letter #4_**

**_Dear Nessie,_**

**_I can't tell you where, but we've been stationed somewhere new. It kind of makes me miss the old place. I miss America very much, but at least you're not with me now. _**

**_It's a full moon tonight, and it comforts me to know you're moon is the same size as mine._**

_Letter #5_

_You're not alone, tonight, you're here with me. Even miles away, I know you want to hold me. I love you and miss you more than ever. Your letters are the only thing that keeps me going._

**_Letter # 15_**

**_I'm glad to hear you're doing well in school. Your happiness is what gets me through the days without you. I miss you so much... it hurts. _**

_Letter #38_

_Dear Jacob,_

_Today, I had Seth bring over Brady today. It was his first time on a horse. You have no idea how inspiring today was. He was scared at first, but then Brady and the horse seem to have this connection like bond. Brady could barely get off, he was having so much fun. _

_So, Jacob, I have this dream: I want to open a summer camp for autistic kids, where they can ride all day. Seth thinks it's amazing, but what do you think? Pipe dream, huh?_

**_Letter #39_**

**_It's not a pipe dream. It's the perfect dream. I support you through it all. _**

**_Guess what? I have great news: I'm coming home for the summer, just for two weeks, but I can't wait to see you again. I'll miss you so much when I'm gone, even more while I'm here writing this. I'm counting down the days now. I'll be home on the fifth. Just wait Nessie, just a month before coming home for good._**

**_I love you,_**

**_Jacob_**

I could barely sleep after giving that letter to the messenger. I looked at my calender repeatedly, just three more weeks until I'm on my next leave. Then, just a month later, I'll be home for good, feeling Nessie in my arms and her lips on mine.

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><strong>AN: You know the drill ;) 5 reviews or more!<strong>


	10. On Leave and Nessie's Parents

****AN: Hey guys! Sorry for the late update! School's out finally and I have to spend three weeks at music camp (except weekends...) I'll still update though, at my aunt's house (which is where I wrote most of The Twilight Notebook) has nothing to do there so I just spend the time on my computer and watching movies (LOVE IT THERE :P). I'm just baking mostly and "bonding" with my sis. Anyways, I have a few announcements but I'll just save them for the end ;) Enjoy!****

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><p><em>"I still remember the smell of the rain<em>

_Fresh on the pavement, I ran off the plane_

_That July ninth the beat of your heart_

_It jumps though your shirt, I can still feel your arms..."_

_-Taylor Swift, Last Kiss_

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><p><strong>DATE: JULY 5, 2000<strong>

**LOCATION: REFUGEE CAMP**

**PLACE: UNKNOWN**

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><p>"Come on! We're going to Paris! There's going to be girls we won't know what they're saying!" I shook my head, laughing.<p>

"Can't, I'm going to Toronto." He raised an eyebrow.

"Toronto? Oh, you mean Nessie, right?" I nodded.

"Yup. I promised her. It's been months since I last saw her." He sighed.

"No changing your mind?" I zipped my bag. "Alright, see you later."

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><p><strong>LOCATION: TORONTO, CANADA<strong>

**PLACE: TORONTO AIRPORT**

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><p>As the plane landed, I was still panicking. What if she wasn't as excited to see me as I was to see her? I do run to her and take her in my arms or do I wait for her to do that? Maybe we just stand in front of one another, say hi, and hug or something. I never had experience with this. But by the time I came out and saw Nessie, I wasn't scared anymore as she came running into my arms, past security. I caught her hand gave her the months awaiting kiss.<p>

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><p><strong>LOCATION: SOMEWHERE IN SOUTHERN ONTARIO<strong>

**PLACE: THE CULLEN HOUSE**

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><p>Nessie drove me to her home town where she grew up, where her family have spent their lives. We stopped for gas once and made-out like teenagers. I missed her so much.<p>

As Nessie drove, I realized she actually didn't live very far from the city. There was a barn beside a big white house.

"Home sweet home." Nessie smiled and parked next to a yellow porche. My eyes widened when I realized this. When she saw my expression, she laughed. "Aunt Alice is here." She got out of the car and I followed her up the porch steps.

A tall, broad man with copper hair and a woman with chestnut brown hair that flowed to the middle of her back, stood there smiling. I guessed these were Nessie's parents and I started to get a little nervous.

"Welcome home, Rennie!" The woman said, hugging her daughter as her husband had a concentrated face on me, observing me. I guess I wasn't like they expected.

The women let go and turned to me. "Mom, Dad, this is Jacob Black."

"I can see that." Nessie's dad said, his voice a distinctive, american english accent. He held out a hand. "I'm Edward Cullen." I shook it.

"Nice to meet you, Mr Cullen."

"Call me Edward, please." I smiled and he smiled back.

"I'm Bella Cullen, Renesmee's mother." She gave me an uncomfortable hug and I hugged her back when Nessie saw my discomfort. "Renesmee's told us so much about you."

"Great things you're doing for this country." Edward added. Bella hit him on the shoulder.

"Edward, don't be so rude! He's here for Renesmee, not his job."

"It's okay, I get that all the time." They laughed and Bella invited me inside. Not so bad. Nessie took my hand and pulled on it for me to lean down and whisper something.

"You don't have to be nervous. They love you already." I breathed easier and she giggled a little.

When we were inside, we saw a small woman with a pixie like haircut prancing over to us- or to Nessie.

"Oh my God! Rennie! It's been too long! You've grown up too fast!" She said as she hugged Nessie.

"Hi, Auntie Alice." Nessie hugged back, when she let go, she asked, "Where's uncle Jasper?"

"He's at home... which reminds me, I better go. I'm sorry. I'll come back before you leave back for Toronto, I promise." Alice seemed to ignore me this whole time, not that I cared.

"Alice, she's leaving tomorrow afternoon." Alice frowned.

"I guess that means no shopping." Nessie shook her head, and finally, Alice looked at me and smiled. "You must be the imfamous Sergeant Jacob Black."

"That's me." She smiled and whispered something to Nessie that sounded like _He's cute!. _Nessie giggled and Alice walked around us to the door.

"I better go. I love you, Rennie!"

* * *

><p>I slept in the guest room. Everything went so well tonight. Bella was an awesome cook and Edward seemed to have liked me. The obviously wouldn't let us sleep in the same bedroom as Nessie. Not that I didn't expect it.<p>

I could barely sleep, weird because I can usually sleep through anything. In the middle of the night, Nessie opened the door.

"Hey," She whispered. I smiled.

"You're going to get in trouble." She gave a quiet laugh and walked toward me.

"I don't care. We just haven't been able to spend much time together alone lately." She bit her lip, I knew what she was going to ask before she did. "Can I stay here for a while? I won't make a sound, I promise."

I made room for her and she lay in what tiny space there was. I wrapped my arms around her and she faced me. We stared at each other for a while. I realized her hair was a little longer than the last time I saw her.

_Just a few months. Almost a year, but not quite. Count the days to September next year._

"I missed you so much, Jacob. You have no idea." I smiled.

"The letters worked though. Distance apart wasn't as hard as having no connection at all." She nodded.

"I told you they would." I smiled and kissed her finally.

This kiss was different though. It held passion, love, possession, and we were both scared of this. I knew this kiss, but I was scared about Nessie. This was new to her and I didn't want to force her into anything. I loved her that much.

I was the one to let go. Nessie had this look in her eyes I couldn't put.

"Are you okay?" I asked. She nodded and then we cuddled for a while. "I'm sorry, Ness."

"No, I'm sorry. It's just that I missed you so much and..." I pulled away to look at her face.

"We don't have to do anything you think we should." She smiled.

"That's why I love you, Jacob." I raised an eyebrow.

"That's the_ only_ reason?" She shook her head.

"No. I love how you're decent, kind, you're adventurous, beautiful... you're just you, Jake." I smiled and kissed her head.

"I love you because you make me want to be a better person. You're beautiful, good natured... you're the best thing that ever happened to me." She kissed my nose.

"I could say the same thing." I smiled and kissed her again, keeping it quick, simple and sweet.

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><p><strong>AN: :) Now I realized I made a typomiscalculation in the last chapter, so I'm just going along with it. So Jacob won't be back until September next year (that's technically a few months, right?). Okay, some quick announcments:**

**1. I have a oneshot out called "Cinderesmee" (no i didn't copy Renesella, she took the idea from me when we were still friends and I pretty much wrote the whole beginning)**

**2. I have a Forbidden Woods Contest. I need a Beta/Editor for the story ;) Let me know if you want more info and if your interested (no competitors yet). **

**Okay, Review! Review!**


	11. Brady and The Best Night of My Life

**AN: I was waiting for ONE MORE REVIEW :P. Wrote this last night. Enjoy! I think you will like this chapter ;) it's about Seth and Brady with a surprise ;) Enjoy!**

**Ps (tee hee) The song is from PS I LOVE YOU (watched it at least 6 times at my aunts :P I think I may make a oneshot based on it.)**

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><p><em>"<em>_When you're all alone _

_I just want to catch you if I can _

_I just want to be there _

_When the morning light explodes _

_On your face it radiates _

_I can't escape _

_I love you 'till the end _

_I just want to tell you nothing _

_You don't want to hear _

_All I want is for you to say _

_Why don't you just take me _

_Where I've never been before _

_I know you want to hear me _

_Catch my breath _

_I love you 'till the end _

_I just want to be there _

_When we're caught in the rain _

_I just want to see you laugh not cry _

_I just want to feel you _

_When the night puts on it's cloak _

_I'm lost for words don't tell me _

_All I can say _

_I love you 'till the end."_

_-The Pogues, Love You 'Till The End_

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><p><strong>LOCATION: TORONTO, CANADA<strong>

**PLACE: RENESMEE CULLEN'S APARTMENT**

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><p>Nessie and I took about another hour and a half drive to Toronto, not including traffic.<p>

"That's the one thing I hate about Toronto," She told me. "There's traffic _all_ the time. And when you're walking, it's like it's New York City, only less hectic." She seemed to keep her voice controlled so her anger seemed to be deep inside where I couldn't see it. I've never seen her mad.

When we finally arrived, the first thing after giving me a "tour", was she called Seth to tell her she's back. This bugged me a lot, but I didn't say anything, or try to show it.

I excused myself to get my bag of clothes from her car, when I came back, she was gone. I looked around, trying to remember where everything was. I found her in the bedroom, just sitting there, head down and didn't notice I was even there.

"Nessie?" I said, generally concerned about what was going on. She looked at me, no surprise on her face. Instead, it was nervousness.

"Hey, Jake." She stood up and pointed toward a corner. "You can put your stuff there for now. You can stay on the couch if you want."

Of course, I didn't want to sleep on the couch, but I didn't know if she told me that just because she didn't want me with her. I had to be honest with her. I walked to her and held her waist and held her against me.

"I'd rather sleep in the bed with you," I whispered. Then I held her face, the nervousness turning into worry. "But if you don't want me to, I won't. I'll be fine with what ever you feel comfortable with." She let out a breath, as if she was holding it for a while.

"Jake," She took my hand and started playing with my fingers, not looking at me, and I started to feel worried for a second.

Did something happen while I was gone? We didn't _do _anything last night, nothing inappropriate at least, she left in the morning like nothing happened and her parents didn't question it.

"Did _you_ feel nervous... about your first time?" Oh. That's different... well, I promised to tell her everything.

"I think it's different between sexes, Ness." Honest enough.

"Yeah, I guess you're right." She sighed. I sat on the bed, she sat on my lap and put her head on my shoulder.

"We don't have to do anything you don't want to. Like last night, we slept in the same bed, we didn't do anything... think of it as practice, for when next September comes. When we're married later and everything..." She nodded and looked at me.

"You know what, Jacob," She said, after a sigh. She looked at me. "I _do_ want you to sleep in my bed." I smiled.

"Then I will." I kicked my bags toward the corner she told me and there and we laughed a good while. Then got serious.

"Jake, I want you to be my first..."

"But not tonight?" To be honest, I was really hoping that we'd get to that base, but of course, I had to put Nessie first. I was disappointed, but tried to hide it, I don't know if I succeeded or not. She nodded. "I get it. I'll be ready when you are."

* * *

><p>We spent so much time together... mostly with her friends. We went to church one night and a few parties. I spent the mornings alone, but I would usually sleep in until Nessie got home. We still slept in the same bed after a long day, she kept me busy so much, there was no time for fooling around.<p>

I talked to Seth only once or twice, the rest was when Nessie sometimes forgot I was there. The way Seth looked at her, it was a mirror image of my face when I did, I was sure. Still, I never talked to him about it, nor did I plan on it. The relationship according to Ness was friends. Seth was none of my business.

One night, just about three days before I leave again, I woke up a little bit before regular time and walked around town with a letter telling her I was just going out for a bit. I got some coffee and asked the waiter if he knew a good restaurant. He recommended _Milestones, _he gave me the number and I made a reservation. Dinner with Nessie alone sounded great. But when I got back, she said she had plans for a party with her friends. I didn't have the guts to tell her I already made plans.

That night, when I talked to her friends, I was bitter. Nessie barely talked to me because of it and they all ignored me. I was freaking pissed. When we got back, Nessie let me have it.

"Jacob, what the heck?" She said as we got through the doors.

"What?" I said as if I didn't know.

"You were so... so _rude_! Why?" I rolled my eyes.

"Did you ever think I only have three-now _two_ days left and maybe I wanted to spend them alone with you?"

"Well then why didn't you say anything? Why didn't you just say 'Nessie, I don't feel like it today, can we do something else?'?"

"Ness, you know we only have so much time together! We have more than a year left until my next leave!" She huffed.

"Jacob, you have no idea how much you embarrassed me tonight. Do you think I liked how my friends were saying how I could've done better because of you? Jacob, don't you think you could've been a bit more considerate?" I knew she was right, but I didn't want to say anything. I grabbed my coat and walked outside, passing Seth on the way without acknowledging him. Still, he found a way to catch up to me.

"Jake! Wait up!"

"Do you want me to break your nose again?" I really didn't want to hurt him again but I needed time alone. He stood in front of me.

"I don't care about my nose, Jacob."

"Can I just be alone, please?" Seth rolled his eyes and blocked me from getting around.

"Let's talk." He just said. "I don't want you hurting Rennie, nor do I want to hurt you either." I laughed lightly. I took a deep breath to calm myself.

"Okay, fine." Guy to guy talk sounded good. He wasn't at the party so I could tell him the whole story.

Seth took me to some lake, I assumed it was Lake Ontario. There, we just sat on a bench and I told him the whole story, even about reserving the tables. He listened contently and didn't interrupt me.

"You know why she's angry?" He asked when I finished. I nodded.

"Yeah, I was rude." Seth crossed his arms.

"Why though?"

"I was pissed. I'm only here for a few more days. I wanted time to ourselves." I stared out to the lake as I said this. Seth did the same.

"I get that." Seth said. "I mean, I never went through things like this and I've never been in the army so it's not my place to say what you did was right. I can't give you much advice because I've only had one girlfriend in my life. I mean, I _barely_ have a life because of Brady. There are times even I am angry... but I keep them inside, Jacob. I pretend everything is happy and everything because I want people to think I am... but really, I'm suffering." I raised an eyebrow.

"Through what?" He shook his head in thought.

"Well, I always have to look after Brady. I love him and all, but it's so hard to communicate with him. I mean his mom's always on vacation, and even though people think I'm a happy guy, inside I'm really not, or not completely." I couldn't believe Seth was telling me all this. He always seemed like the happy guy, it made sense he was suffering. One thing bugged me, and I had to tell him.

"Can I tell you something?" He nodded. "Now, I'm not a father, so I can't say this is my place either." He looked at me to show he was listening. "When _my_ mom left when I was five, I always asked my dad when she was coming back. He wouldn't answer me. I waited every day, hoping she would be at the door and would say she's home..." Seth bit his lip, but I continued. "I waited about ten years... but now I know that if my dad told me the truth, it would've saved me a lot of waiting." Seth just sighed after a few minutes of silence.

"I guess you're right..." He looked at me. "But Brady doesn't understand. I don't think he minds not having a mom. There are times he asks me, I always give him the same answer, it works, but things are so much harder when I have to think about her." He was silent again, then changed the subject. "Don't let Rennie get away. She's precious and is my best friend. She means everything to me, she's family." I knew he meant deeper than that, but I put it aside, knowing he was right.

Seth drove me back to Nessie's apartment and thanked him. When I got inside, the lights were off and I wondered if Nessie wanted me to sleep on the couch. I went into the bedroom to get my stuff as Nessie was sleeping. I was leaving with my stuff when Nessie started stretching and turned on the bedside lamp.

"Where are you going?" She asked, starting to sit up.

"Um, the couch." It sounded more like a question.

"Why?"

"I didn't think you wanted me in the same bed as you." She smiled and shook her head.

"No, get back here." I walked over and kneeled beside her side.

"Ness, I'm sorry, really..." She rolled her eyes.

"It was my fault, Jake. It was selfish of me to use up our little time together with my friends I see all the time." She held my face with one hand as she said this. I held it there.

"I love you." I whispered into it. She leaned in and kissed me lightly.

"I love you, too." She said.

I don't know how it happened, but somehow, during another kiss, I ended up on top of her on the bed, putting my hand up he shirt to realize she wasn't wearing a bra. She took mine off along with other clothes and eventually, we ended up making love.

We whispered "I love you" over and over. As I fell into a deeper love with her than I already was, I knew more than ever I found my soulmate and I never wanted to leave her side... ever.

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><p><strong>AN:<strong>The next chapter MAY be free... lets make it two reviews! It's really short, who knows, maybe I'll release it today. REVIEW REVIEW<strong>**


	12. More Letters and 911

**AN: Got three :) K, so this and (I guess) the next few chapters are going to be short, but only because they end at the same moments... and a big shocker that's coming soon ;) **

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><p><strong>LOCATION: UNKNOWN<strong>

**PLACE: REFUGEE CAMP**

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><p>It was so hard to say goodbye to Nessie. The night of endless bliss still went though my head, especially now that we were away once again.<p>

Kirk talked on and on about Paris, I didn't hear a word he said.

We were sent somewhere new in the next few days. The letters kept coming, and so did all the trips everywhere.

_Letter #44_

_Dear Jacob,_

_I'm finally graduating soon. It's too bad you can't make it. Alice took me shopping and kept going on and on about how she was going to plan our wedding. Only a few months more can't hurt... can it? We've made it this far, what's a few more months? _

**_Letter #45_**

**_Nessie,_**

**_A few more months feels like an eternity. We're always moving from place to place more than I can accept. Trust me, America feels more like home if you're there... _**

**_Counting down days makes things less painful. _**

_Letter #96_

_Dear Jacob,_

_I went to see your dad today, I was in the neighbor hood with Seth getting some stuff from his mom's house. I got him talking about the legends so we had plenty conversation. He told me to send his love, and surprisingly, so did Brady. _

**_Letter #131_**

**_Full moon again tonight... can you believe I cried? I miss you more than ever... counting down the days seeing you again. _**

_Letter #132_

_Two more months and counting... I can't wait to see you again. Even Seth misses you. Our letters are a part of us now. When I open your letter, it's like I can feel you breathe, and I imagine you feel mine too. _

_**Letter #145**_

_**There's not much I can say... but just I can't wait to see you again... what I say now, would be what I would say to you again in person, and it just may be annoying. I promise we'll be together in just a few more days, you may even get this when I'm there. I'm just going to hope you'll check your mailbox before I arrive.**_

"Jacob!" Kirk came into the tent as I was writing.

"What?" I said in annoyance. He ignored it, his face struck with horror. This can't be good.

"Come here! Look!" I got up, and followed him to the only television that worked here. There was a crowd and I walked through them. It was on the news channel in a language I didn't understand, but the picture I wouldn't forget.

The twin towers in New York City were falling into pieces. Numbers of the dead increased and people started talking about how it were terrorists... and this meant war.

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><p><strong>AN: Keep them coming! REVIEW REVIEW<strong>


	13. You're All That Matters

**AN: I was in a good mood today so I decided to update ;) Enjoy (as much as u can).**

**Ps, sorry, I forgot to mention, when I say "SOMEWHERE IN SOUTHERN ONTARIO" I'm thinking of where I live :P I don't live in the country, but I live near it. Just can't tell u where :P (No, not Toronto, sorry guys, you won't find me there unless I'm modeling or something xD)**

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><p><em>"You and I walk a fragile line,<em>

_I have known it all this time,_

_But I never thought I'd see it break._

_It's getting dark and it's all to quiet,_

_And I can't trust anything now,_

_And it's coming over you like it's all a big mistake."_

_-Taylor Swift, Haunted_

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><p><strong>LOCATION: UNKNOWN<strong>

**PLACE: REFUGEE CAMP**

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><p>"Okay, guys. Weekend and weekend only. I want you back here after two days, no more no less." Sam directed us. Kirk stood up.<p>

"Permission to reenlist, sir." He said. Three other guys stood up as well, repeating what Kirk said. I sat and stayed silent.

"Now, now." Sam said. "I'm impressed you all want to do this. But more people are enlisting right now for Afghanistan. Wait for the weekend, if you still want to, we do it together."

"Nothing's going to change my mind about the terrorists who destroyed the World Trade Center of New York City!" Trent, one of the guys, said. The rest agreed.

"Take a break." Sam repeated. "Then we'll talk."

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><p><strong>LOCATION: TORONTO, CANADA<strong>

**PLACE: TORONTO AIRPORT**

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><p>On the plane ride, all I did was think. I wanted to reenlist, but I had Nessie to worry about. I promised her that when this was over, I'd come back to her and we could finally begin our life together. I hated this. Once you're in the army, you can barely leave, I've been told that and it was dead on.<p>

Things repeated like on my last leave, and all seemed forgotten until we reached her parent's house. They were throwing a party for her aunt's baby shower, the one I haven't met named Rosalie.

Bella and Edward welcomed me with open arms, and so did her uncle Emmett, who had dimples on his cheeks and was just about as big as me. Rosalie glared at me the whole time, I don't know why.

"She thinks of me as her own little girl." Nessie explained. "Since she's having a boy, she probably won't get over it until she has her own." I took a bite of the chocolate cake on my plate. "Do you want children?" I nodded and swallowed before answering.

"Yeah, absolutely. Why?" She shrugged.

"I just thought while we're on the subject..." My eyes widened in shock.

"You're not... Are you..." She started laughing and shaking her head.

"Thank God, no." I sighed in relief. "What would you do if I told you I was?"

"Well, I'm marrying you anyways." She smiled.

"When are you proposing?"

"I can't tell you." I figured as soon as I got back, but I couldn't tell her. The proposal was the best part before marriage, something that stays with them, right? She pouted and sighed.

"I guess not..." I laughed and kissed her head. Then I saw someone here that I rather wouldn't.

"Nessie," I whispered to her. "What is _Nahuel_ doing here?" She turned and saw him coming toward us. Great.

"I invited him."

"What?" I had to try not to yell. I hated Nahuel. Why would she invite _him_? Nessie didn't take my reaction well.

"He's not a bad guy once you get to know him, Jake." I rolled my eyes. _I doubt that._ I thought.

Nessie excused herself, which meant I was alone with Nahuel.

"Hey, Sergeant." He teased. I rolled my eyes and continued to look at Nessie talking to Seth. He pretended not to notice. "Well, I just wanted to say I'm sorry." I turned to him, surprised. He continued. "If I knew that you and Ren were going to stay together, I wouldn't have."

"Right." Unfortunately, I was one to hold grudges.

"Okay... so... 9-11." Now he's looking for conversation.

"Yeah." Some other guys joined us when the subject came up.

"You're in the army, boy?" A man with blonde hair said.

"Yeah."

"I finished my enlistment just a few years ago." One with brown hair said with Alice by the hand. I guessed this was Nessie's uncle. "I'm sure now they're going to ask you to reenlist another year."

"Yeah, Afghanistan will be the first place they'll ship you to." Blonde haired said.

"I'm happy to serve my country, for however long it'll take." Next thing I knew, I saw Nessie looking at me in shock, on the edge of tears and running outside to the porch. I ran after her.

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><p><strong>LOCATION: SOMEWHERE IN SOUTHERN ONTARIO<strong>

**PLACE: CULLEN PORCH STEPS**

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><p>Nessie just stood there, not looking at me. She looked at the open land in front of us, with the few cars that came down the road, passing. I ruffled my hair. I couldn't take in the silence. It was too quiet, we had to talk.<p>

"Nessie..." I tried to take her hand, and she tucked it under her arms, crossing them as if she was preparing for a chill.

"Two more years, Jacob..." I sighed. I had to tell her. She turned to me, the pain in her eyes I couldn't stand, I forced myself to look at her. "Have you decided yet? Have you enlisted yet?"

"No." Silence again.

"But you're going to, aren't you?" I didn't answer this time. She turned away again. "We were so close, Jacob... just two more weeks..." She turned back to me. "But two years? Two more years of waiting for our life to finally start? Don't I get a say in this?" I bit my lip.

"You don't understand, Nessie." She cut me off, practically covering her ears.

"Son of a bitch." She walked off the steps. I realized Seth was there, playing with Brady. He looked at me and her in shock.

"That was the first time I ever heard her swear." He said, then turned to me.

"I know." I was in shock myself, but guilt covered it far beyond it.

"She loves you, Jacob. It means she loves you that much." What he said didn't make any sense. Still, I took advice from him.

"What should I do?"

"If I were you, I'd go after her. Show her you love her." I nodded and went toward Nessie, who was sitting on a tree made swing.

She didn't say anything, but I was sure she knew I was there, even though I was behind her. I took a deep breath, this was going to take a monologue.

"I know you're mad at me... I'm mad at me too. They say when you're in the army, it's hard to get out... Do you want me to quit? Is that what you want me to do?" Nothing. I stood in front of her. "I love you, Nessie. I want to stay here as long as I possibly can." I knelt in front of her, she looked at me. "You're all that matters, okay? You're all that matters to me. I want to know what the right thing to do is, but I don't know what it is. I don't have any frickin idea how to get there, cause I need you to tell me." She took my face and held me to her as I tried to stop the tears from coming. "Just tell me what you want..." I whispered. She shook, so I knew she was crying as well, no need to hold back.

"I love you, Jacob..." She said when we pulled away. "Not only your country needs you. I do, too." I smiled a little.

"I know... and I want to stay so bad..." She sighed.

"No. You want to stay with me. If your country needs you, and you want to go, what can I do to stop you?" She was giving in so quick?

I wanted to believe everything she was saying, but maybe she's not speaking seriously, maybe she wanted me to beg. I didn't though. I kissed her and answered her question instead.

"Just promise me you'll be waiting for me on the other side." She smiled.

"Always." We shared a long hug after this. So, I was serving another two years. This would be harder than ever.

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><p><strong>AN: Uh oh. REVIEW REVIEW!<strong>

**Just a few things guys: I still have a facebook group you guys can join, I'm usually on it so you can chat with me on it. I also have a Like page but I don't like it much... so, it's called I 3 The Twilight's Sun Saga **

**Don't worry, I use it for everything, not just the Twilight's Sun Saga. I post up a lot of extras and stuff there, and u can see when I'm writing :P (cause I tell u guys :P) I also ask for my fan's opinions.**

**Feel free to take Jacob's monologue for drama stuff (just ask permission first :P). I may not make an end AN for the next chapter, since something will happen and it would ruin the moon and you know the drill ;) REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW (doubling it for the next chapter's sake)**


	14. Dear Jacob

**AN: I will save the song lyrics for the middle of this chapter 'cause it'll reveal too much. No AN at the end (i'm scared it'll ruin the mood). But I'm going to warn you, have a box of tissues beside you, you're going to need it ;). So, just a reminder to join my FACEBOOK group and follow me on TWITTER. so... that's all that comes to mind. and remember to review! **

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><p><strong>LOCATION: AFGHANISTAN<strong>

**PLACE: I DON'T EVEN KNOW ANYMORE**

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><p>Nessie and I never left each other's side that night. We didn't have sex or anything. We needed each other. I needed her so much, I had to call my dad to tell him I wasn't going to see him until my next leave. He didn't seem very fond of the idea either of me staying another two years. I hated myself, I really did.<p>

I promised my dad I would write since this was going to be a long two years. I talked to him about the legends more to keep conversation going. I spent hours with him, I think we started bonding again, finally.

Before I left, I remember telling Nessie while dropping me to the airport, "I don't deserve you." She looked at me weirdly.

"What do you mean?"

"I can't go back. I shouldn't have even persuaded you for me to leave. You're too good for me." She seemed almost offended.

"Jacob, no man is as good for me as you."

"What about Seth?" It slipped, and I realized I should've kept my mouth shut as soon as I said it.

"What does Seth have to do with us?"

"Nothing, forget about it." She scoffed.

"Jacob," We were back on topic. "I love you, okay? I'm willing to wait two more years and maybe a few letters and phone calls! This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do." Raising our voices now.

"What is? Letting go is easy enough."

"Do you _want_ me to let go? This isn't letting go, Jacob. This is holding on for dear life at the end of a rope!" I didn't say anymore.

We were silent for the rest of it, until we got to the airport. The love was brought back into her eyes.

"Jacob, remember to come back. You made me a promise, remember?" I nodded.

"Of course I do." I leaned down and kissed her one last time. This was by far, the best kiss we've had. Sweet, passionate, and with love.

"I'll see you soon then?" I asked. She smiled and I thought she was going for a kiss, but she hugged me instead.

"I'll see you soon, then." Then I was on the plane.

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><p><em>"I stare at the phone,<em>

_He still hasn't called,_

_And you feel so low you_

_Can't feel nothing at all."_

_-Taylor Swift, Forever and Always_

* * *

><p>Me and my troops, as well as some newbies, all trained practically double time for the war. The bombing and people dying at my feet, it was a nightmare. If it wasn't for Nessie's letters, I would be in therapy like the rest of my group.<p>

_Letter #135_

_Dear Jacob,_

_I had to think twice to make sure that I didn't have to pick you up from the airport. I didn't leave my apartment today. Didn't answer the phone. Nothing. I just stayed in bed and cried, you know me, I'm usually on the go... I miss you so much, Jacob. How can we live through this?_

**_Letter #136_**

**_Dear Nessie,_**

**_Trust me, it's a lot harder than I made it look. I wish I can be there with you, but my country needs me. I think of it as making you safe. As long as America's safe... so are you. I love you so much._**

_Letter #149_

_Dear Jacob,_

_Brady celebrated his 9th birthday today. He wished for the war to be over, can you believe it? Who puts these thoughts into his head? It's funny..._

Things were going great. Really great.

Letters came and went. I wrote to Billy, too. He talked to me about different artifacts and stuff he found. I replied back with as much enthusiasm as possible.

To me, everything was going smoothly. We talked about the full moons, she talked about helping teaching in Toronto and Brady. We called too, especially at Christmas, but that's when I realized that she was getting out of the letters thing. The phone call wasn't as long as I expected and she seemed really low. When I asked, she said she missed me. I believed her.

After new years, I cried alone. Full moon and another year without Nessie.

_Another year. Did some grocery shopping and all. Spending time with family and stuff. Rosalie and Emmett had their kid, named him Carter. _

Her letters were small talk like that. I didn't get it. I started getting nervous. My letters were fine, as far as I was aware of. She barely mentioned anything so there was nothing much I could comment on. The coming of the letters slowed too. I used to get one every two weeks or so, but they spaced out. Two weeks to one month, then while waiting for four months... nothing.

I wanted to call her, but Kirk told me it sounded desperate. I didn't care, and did it anyways. She wouldn't pick up.

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><p><strong>DATE: JUNE, 2002<strong>

**PLACE: REFUGEE CAMP**

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><p>"Jacob!" Geoff, a new soldier called to me, holding a letter. "Here." He knew I was waiting for this one.<p>

"That's it?" I hopped for lost mail. Maybe. He shook his head.

"That's it."

I took the letter and walked out of the tent where I could be alone. I had a feeling I knew what this letter was, but hope was still inside.

It's Nessie. I assured myself. The girl you love. She made you a promise_._ I opened the envelope like a candy bar and began to read:

_Dear Jacob,_

_For the last three hours I've been staring at this blank sheet of paper... well if I'm being honest, I've been staring at it for the last four months. The months I have been silent._

_Jacob, when we met, I didn't know you would be the one that I would share my deepest secrets, or even more, my first... God works in mysterious ways. _

_Love brought us together. I love you and you made me a better person by loving me, and I'll never forget you for that. _

_Saying goodbye was the hardest thing for you... writing this letter is the hardest for me. Which is why it's so hard to tell you that I've fallen in love with someone else. I never meant to, it just happened, and I'm marrying him. _

_Breaking the promise I made you... I never meant to. I hate to break your heart like this, it's truthfully breaking mine too. _

_I'm not going to tell you anything you already know. So, here I go, and times it by the biggest number possible: I'm sorry. I'll never forget you._

_Renesmee_


	15. Shot

**AN: These next few chapters are going to be pretty short, updates will be faster the faster you review ;) Thanks for those btw! I warned you to keep the tissues near.**

**DON'T OWN ANYTHING (sorry, time I write one of these) ALL GOES TO MEYER AND SPARKS (even his little line I MAY'VE taken out of _Dear John_...)**

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><p><em>"They say that true love hurts<em>

_Well this could almost kill me._

_Young love murder,_

_That is what this must be._

_I would give it all to not be sleeping alone._

_The life is fading from me_

_While you watch my heart bleed,_

_Young love murder,_

_That is what this must be._

_I would give it all to not be sleeping alone..."_

_-Ke$ha, The Harold Song_

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><p><strong>DATE: JUNE, 2002<strong>

**PLACE: REFUGEE CAMP**

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><p><em>She was in love with someone else. <em>I knew that before I finished the letter.

I was frozen. Not a muscle moved. I don't even think I blinked, but I think I stopped breathing. I reread it over and over. She was in love with someone else- no, more than that, engaged! I couldn't believe it. I wouldn't. The heart break hurt, I thought it could kill me.

I was suddenly incredibly angry- more than feeling betrayed, I felt as if she crushed everything that had any meaning in the world. I hated her. I hated the faceless man who'd stolen her from me. I fantasized what I would do to him if he crossed my path, and the picture wasn't pretty.

Another part of me wanted to fly over to her right now, or at least call her so I could talk to her. Part of me didn't believe it, I couldn't believe it. No way she could've found someone else after all we've been through.

I didn't go home. I didn't call. My only action was putting the letter back into the envelope so I could carry it around like a wound, the rest wouldn't get the same treatment.

I got up to go into my tent. Under my bed, were the letters Nessie wrote and I kept. I took the whole box and carried it out to the fire pit where flames were bright, and started dumping them there. Kirk saw, but didn't say anything.

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><p><strong>DATE: AUGUST, 2002<strong>

**PLACE: SOMEWHERE IN AFGHANISTAN**

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><p>Over the next few months, I got that therapy I needed. Bombs. People dying. It was all too much. Nessie hasn't written, and I wasn't surprised. Probably her Hell of a fiancee, or husband, whatever, didn't want her writing to her ex boyfriendfiancee.

I was known as the depressed soldier. Kirk was pretty much the only one who talked to me, he always signed for the same missions as me, regardless if they were dangerous. They kept me busy and kept my mind off of the letter I still kept with me, usually now stuffed at the bottom of my packing.

I got off the jeep, getting ready with my gun and uniform. One resident with a turban tried to talk to us in a language we didn't understand. I turned to Owen, the guy who practically translates everything for us.

"Don't look at me!" He protested. "I don't know what he's saying! I speak Arabian, Indian, German, I don't know freaking-" Kirk rolled his eyes.

"C'mon let's go." Kirk gestured, looking around for some enemies to kill.

We reached an alleyway and the rest of the team followed. Suddenly, we heard a gun shot and Kirk went flying.

"KIRK!" I knelt to him to check for blood.

"I don't even feel anything! I mean, I'm too young to die!" I looked around and saw that the bullet hit his shoulder, which is where the most padding is. I laughed and took the bullet out, it didn't even pierce his skin.

"You are one lucky bastard." Kirk laughed.

Suddenly, I heard another gun shot and I turned. I held up my gun, looking for the guy who did.

"Sorry," Duncan, another troop, said. "That was me. It slipped." I rolled my eyes.

The, I heard another shot, and a pain in my right shoulder. I collapsed from the impact and pain the bullets made.

"Jacob!" I heard Kirk say. He ran to me as someone else shot the guy who shot me.

Everything was so blurry, I was slowly passing out. Kirk held me and seated me upright against a wall.

"Jacob! Stay awake! Look into my eyes! Look into them!" He repeated everything over and over again. I wasn't even listening to him anymore.

I'm not going to say much, but all I'm going to say was Nessie was the last thing that came to mind before I blacked out. The girl I loved.

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><p><strong>AN: REVIEW REVIEW!<strong>


	16. Family Leave 2006

**AN: This is very short, but I'm almost positive you'll love the next one :) If I'm in the mood (or if I get reviews *hint hint*) Maybe I'll post up the next chapter :) Enjoy! And remember to review!**

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><p><em>"I can be your hero, baby.<em>

_I can kiss away the pain._

_I will stand by you forever._

_You can take my breath away..."_

_-Enrique Iglesias, Hero_

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><p><strong>LOCATION: GERMANY<strong>

**PLACE: HOSPITAL**

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><p>When I woke up, I wanted to believe I was in heaven, or the whole thing I imagined was all a dream. Unfortunately, I got neither.<p>

I woke up to a nurse with black hair. Nope. It all happened.

"Jacob? Jacob Black?" I nodded weakly. I was tired as Hell. "You're in a hospital in Germany, you're going to be fine. Just two bullets in the right shoulder." Yup, the bandages were there. Definitely not a dream. I fell asleep again from the drugs they put me on.

* * *

><p><strong>LOCATION: AFGHANISTAN<strong>

* * *

><p>I looked at the mirror and took off the bandages on my right shoulder. I was fully healed now, just scars were left in their place. I went to see Sam, I was supposed to leave now, for home. I didn't want to. I had nothing to come home to. I had no home.<p>

"Black!" Sam smiled at me.

"Hi, General." He told me to sit down.

"I thought you were supposed to be gone by now."

"No... I was going to ask to reenlist again." Sam shook his head.

"Black, I like your attitude. But you're done. You served your country well. Go home, spend time with your dad." I interrupted him before he could expand on it.

"Definitely reenlisting." Sam sighed.

"Now, Jacob, I'm going home. I miss my family. It has nothing to do with what happened... are you sure?" I nodded. "No changing your mind?"

"No sir." He stood up, and I did too. "I'm making this a career."

"We need more men like you, Black.

* * *

><p><strong>DATE: JUNE, 2006<strong>

**LOCATION: AFGHANISTAN**

**PLACE: REFUGEE CAMP**

* * *

><p>The troops I taught started laughing. I never laughed with them. Kirk was gone as well as the other guys I knew. This was the only life I knew now, not that I was living it.<p>

Rumors spread with the new soldiers. About why I never laughed and always was so serious. Some said loss in the family, technically correct. Some said my wife died, better than what I got. Some actually got it right saying I got a Dear John letter. I never bother.

"General Black," Someone called. I don't know the guy's name. "Something came up... You're ordered to go home on family leave." I only had one family left, one who I still write letters to like a loner. I headed to pack my stuff.

* * *

><p><strong>LOCATION: SEATTLE, WA<strong>

**PLACE: HARBOURVIEW SEATTLE HOSPITAL**

* * *

><p>I saw my dad, lying, sleeping, on the hospital bed. The doctor tried to talk to me.<p>

"We don't know how long he was out before the Chief found him." I nodded and looked at him.

"If I was there, would it have made a difference?" I felt blame. Should I? He shook his head.

"Doubt it. The stroke was too major to say, though." So, there was a chance I could've. But then again, maybe not.

I stayed with him all day. I got a hotel in Seattle and visited him the next morning. He was awake to see me, but couldn't talk.

"Hey, Dad," I said. He groaned, I guess he meant to say hello back.

I figured there wasn't much to do, so I took the five hour drive back home and I took out some of his books to read to him in the hospital.

Unfortunately, I had to leave before they could give me any stats about my dad's condition a few days after. That was the last time I ever saw him alive.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: REVIEW REVIEW!<strong>


	17. The Will and Nessie Something

**AN: THIS IS A SHOCKER CHAPTER! :P I EXPECT AWESOME REVIEWS (IF NOT ANGRY). JUST READ!**

**ps, I would like to say I don't own "Chris" or the pedophile _Pizza Nova_ guy :P Chris is one of my best friends and the pedophile _Pizza Nova_ guy is some dude who recognizes me when I come in for pizza at lunch -_-**

**plus, DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT OR DEAR JOHN OR THE TSWIFT SONG**

* * *

><p><em>"I still remember the look on your face,<em>

_Lit through the darkness at 1:58_

_Words that you whispered for just us to know,_

_You told me you loved me, so why did you go,_

_Away..._

_Never thought we'd have a last kiss,_

_Never imagined we'd end like this,_

_Your name forever the name on my lips..."_

_-Taylor Swift, Last Kiss_

* * *

><p><strong>LOCATION: FORKS, WA<strong>

**PLACE: CHURCH**

* * *

><p>I was the only one at my dad's funeral, other than Charlie. All I did was sit there. Sit and do nothing. Even the priest had to tell me there was another service coming in and I should leave. I did after a while, then I couldn't take it anymore.<p>

When I went home, I couldn't believe how much I've lost in such a short amount of time. I lost my dad, and the love of my life. What did I do to deserve this?

One day, I decided to look through my dad's books, just to see anything that my dad told me that I would understand now. I came across his favourite book, the one about the Third Wife, then a piece of paper fell out. I picked it up and saw Billy's hand writing. I read it.

_To whom this may concern,_

_These are the wishes of William Black after his passing:_

_The house and everything in it, including his antique collection of books goes to his son, Jacob Black. He is free to do what ever he pleases with it all. _

Short, but straight to the point. I couldn't believe it... he left me his books. I expected the house, but not his books...

* * *

><p>I put up the house for sale, in charge of Charlie though of course, and kept the books in a box. I didn't know what to do with them, maybe try and read them.<p>

I had about three days left. I didn't know what I was doing or where I was going but I started driving, and ended up at the airport. I then took a ticket and took about a five hour flight there. I ended up at Toronto airport and drove where I remembered Nessie growing up. There, I stopped and checking in at a Best Western Hotel beside a chinese restaurant.

I asked around to see if anyone knew who she was. A few were High School guys who said they knew her, but didn't _know_ her, or where she is. One guy working at the hotel said, "I hear she's really pretty now... If only I knew... I would've hooked up with her then. If only..." I was out of there. Even an old man knew her, he worked at a _Pizza Nova_ in front of her old high school. He looked kind of like a pedophile so I didn't bother.

Finally, across the street at a _Starbucks_, an asian man with glasses told me.

"Yeah, I know her. We were buddies in high school." He said when I showed him the picture.

"Great! Do you know where she is?" He shrugged.

"She's everywhere nowadays... poor thing." I raised an eyebrow. Before I could ask, he took out his phone and wrote something down from a blank receipt. He handed it to me. "This is her address. It's near her parent's house." That helped a lot.

I thanked the guy by the name of Chris, and started driving, she didn't live that far either. I looked for her street and found her house.

I took a second while I stepped out of my car, telling myself I don't have to talk to her. But my heart told me to knock on her door. Before I could finish the debate, Nessie came out from the side of the house. She froze, and I moved around so I could walk toward her. She gave me a weak smile.

"Hello, Jacob." She said.

"Hi," Was all I said. Awkward silence. She shuffled her feet.

"What brings you here?" She asked, after a long sigh. She could tell I wasn't out of the army since I was still wearing my army pants with a black shirt.

"My dad." I didn't take my eyes off her.

"How is he?" I didn't have to say anything. My silence was enough. She covered her mouth in shock. "I'm so sorry... I wish I knew... he was a good man." More awkward silence. I saw a sign at the top of her house I didn't notice before. It said _Horse Sense Camp Drop Off/Pick Up_.

I gestured it. "You did it. Your dream." She looked at it and frowned.

"No. I tried. It only lasted a summer... it was expensive and now a days, it's hard to get money out of our pockets." When she said _our_, my stomach churned a little. She meant her and her husband, obviously. "Want to come inside?" I gave her a look. "It's just me." I nodded after a sigh and I followed her inside.

* * *

><p><strong>LOCATION: SOMEWHERE IN SOUTHERN ONTARIO<strong>

**PLACE: NESSIE AND HER HUSBAND'S HOME**

* * *

><p>"This is home." She said, taking off her shoes and hanging her coat. I did the same with my shoes. "We built it from our own hands." How sweet.<p>

I followed her straight forward to the kitchen.

"Do you want some dinner? I have some left over spaghetti."

"No thanks." Actually, I was starving, but didn't feel like eating.

"Come on, Jacob. I promise it's good. My grandma made it." I sighed and gave in. She told me to take a seat as she got out the container of the spaghetti.

As it was warming in the microwave, the phone rang and Nessie had to get it. I then saw some pictures near the staircase and I walked toward them.

"Hey, honey, guess who's here?" Nessie said into the phone. I walked closer to the pictures, looking at them one by one. The first of Nessie as a baby. I chuckled lightly.

"Jacob... Yeah, Jacob Black." Another of her and the family. Her in a graduating high school uniform. Then I saw a wedding photo.

There was Nessie, looking amazing as always in a white dress, one that I always imagined her wearing at our wedding day. She wore the same smile as well. But what shocked me was the man that was supposed to be in my place. My jaw practically hit the floor as Nessie hung up the phone.

"He wants to see you, if you're up for it." I looked at her and pointed at the picture.

"_Seth_?" I could barely get the words out. "Seth _Clearwater_?" She gave me a look, as if she wanted to explain, but couldn't. I wanted one, though.

I wanted to know why. Why would she marry Seth? Why did Seth marry Nessie? How could Nessie have fallen in love with _him_ while I was gone at war? Why did she want to become Renesmee Clearwater? Why _has_ she become Renesmee Clearwater?

Nessie just sighed.

"I'll explain it to you over diner. Just come here at sit." It took some persuading. A part of me wanted to run out and drive away. But the other part wanted answers, so I followed her into the kitchen and I sat.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: :O Almost done writing Dear John! I'm putting up a poll for those who know how it's going to end. Review review!<strong>


	18. What Happened

**AN: Short, and kinda a filler as well. Enjoy :)**

**Don't own DEAR JOHN or TWILIGHT. **

* * *

><p><em>"You should've said 'no'.<em>

_You should've gone home._

_You should've thought twice before you let it all go._

_You should've known the word,_

_What you did with her,_

_Get back to me._

_And I should've been there in the back of your mind._

_I shouldn't be asking myself why,_

_You shouldn't be begging for forgiveness at my feet._

_You should've said 'no'_

_Baby, and you might still have me..."_

_-Taylor Swift, Should've Said No_

* * *

><p><strong>LOCATION: SOMEWHERE IN SOUTHERN ONTARIO<strong>

**PLACE: CLEARWATER HOUSE **

* * *

><p>Nessie waited for me to finish eating, letting me eat her serving too.<p>

"I don't eat much now a days. I may be hungry but when it's already made, I'm not in the mood to eat." She just drank a glass of wine as I ate. When I finished, I got right to the point.

"How? How did it happen?" She sighed and looked at the glass of wine.

"It's a long story..." I crossed my arms, gesturing her to go ahead and I wasn't going anywhere. She took a deep breath and began.

"Well... I guess it was just about after the new year... 2002, I guess... Seth and I were just doing some shopping for Brady's birthday and we were sitting there with some frozen yogurt..."

* * *

><p><strong>DATE: JANUARY 24, 2002<strong>

**PLACE: MALL**

* * *

><p>"I just can't believe it!" I said, practically stabbing my frozen yogurt.<p>

"Can't believe what?" I hit my fist on my leg, as if the answer was obvious.

"Jacob and I would've been together by now- or even engaged!" Seth gave me a confusing look.

"Weren't you already?" I rolled her eyes. _He's such a know it all._

"No... well, technically, yes..." I took a deep breath and my mood changed from anger, to sadness, pretty quickly, too. I think Seth saw tears forming in my eyes.

"Rennie?" I hugged Seth then, crying on his shoulder. I needed to feel something... I needed to be held. I've been strong through this whole thing, but I've been beginning to question mine and Jacob's relationship. I could feel it crumbling away and I couldn't grasp it together.

"I just can't believe he chose his country over me... I mean, am I good enough for him? What did I do to deserve this?" Seth hugged me back, comforting me.

_He's such a good friend... anyone would be lucky to have him. The girl who marries him, better be good to him._ I thought, honestly.

I don't deserve someone like Seth as a friend, but there's no tearing us. We've been friends for life, now, and always will be.

"_He's_ not good enough for _you_..." He whispered. I looked at him, confused, but a part of me felt... hopeful.

"What?" He sighed, and took my face into his big hands, then, he leaned in and kissed me lightly on the lips.

I was beyond shocked. No way, jose. Seth can't be kissing me... can he?

I closed my eyes, just letting me feel what was happening. I gave in to him. This was amazing, it felt so right... Wait! Jacob! Your soul mate! The one you're in love with! I pulled away.

"Sorry, Rennie..." Seth said before I could talk. I covered my mouth. "I just felt this was the only time to know..."

"Know what?" I asked.

* * *

><p><strong>YEAR: 2006<strong>

**LOCATION: SOMEWHERE IN SOUTHERN ONTARIO**

**PLACE: CLEARWATER HOUSE **

* * *

><p>"I swear, you were in the back of my mind! But I was beginning to question my feelings for you... and I felt that Seth and I were right for each other. He was in love with me, I fell in love with him, he was here, you weren't." Tears were falling down her sweet face. I wanted to kiss them away, but I couldn't. "It wasn't easy, you know. Accepting his proposal, marrying him."<p>

"I believe you." I remembered the letters I burned, how tense she sounded in them.

"We married in September. Small wedding, of course..." She took my hand from across the table. "I'm so sorry, Jacob." I shrugged, when I really wanted to yell.

"It's not your fault. It's mine." I took my hand back when I really wanted to keep it. She took hers back too.

"Seth wants to see you. Do you want to go?" I didn't. I was worried what I was going to do. But if he was inviting me, he was probably expecting it. His funeral.

"Sure." She got up and I followed her to the door, we put on our stuff and headed to her car.

After a few minutes of driving, of silence, she stopped at a building.

"Where are we?" She turned off the car.

"The hospital."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I felt kinda sick tbh writing what happened with Nessie and Seth. I don't even know where it came from (them kissing at the mall). I was shopping one day and I thought "hey, this would be kinda cool" (really, i think of the weirdest things when I shop... like at WalMart when I was thinking of making that "twilight christmas carol" and that Nessie should have a gay friend named Grant in Breaking Eclipse xD)<strong>

**REMEMBER TO VOTE ON THE POLL! I'M TIED AND I ADDED A NEW OPTION TO IT! IT'S FOR THE ENDING OF DEAR JACOB AND THOSE WHO KNOW HOW THIS ENDS (THOSE WHO EITHER READ THE BOOK, SEEN THE MOVIE, OR BOTH). VOTE AND REVIEW REVIEW!**


	19. Why Didn't You Call

**AN: Hey guys! I still need votes on the ending! Plus, shortly after, I'm putting up a poll of which Nicholas Sparks thing I should do next :P For now, I need the ending xD (I just finished reading "the guardian" by Nicholas Sparks... OMG it was SO good :D).**

* * *

><p><em>"It's all right, just wait and see your<em>

_String of lights are still bright to be oh._

_Who you are is not where you've been._

_You're still an innocent..."_

_-Taylor Swift, Innocent_

* * *

><p><strong>LOCATION: SOMEWHERE IN SOUTHERN ONTARIO<strong>

**PLACE: HOSPITAL**

* * *

><p>I was brought up a series of floors in the hospital elevator. It was silent. I didn't want it to be. I wanted to talk so she could answer the series of questions going through my head. What were we doing here? Why were we here? What happened to Seth?<p>

She sighed, she didn't look at me, she answered as if she knew what the question was.

"Seth has cancer." Ouch. Sympathy came to me.

"What kind?"

"Melanoma." She sighed. "It started with a mole that kept bleeding when he kept scratching it while we worked on the house. Then doctors checked his lymph notes and one of them was positive for cancer." Damn. That sucks.

The elevator doors opened and she told the receptionist she was visiting. When she said she was the patient's wife, it stung a little. Then, I followed her through a few hallways until we reached Seth's room.

I stood by the door as I examined Seth. He was pale. Almost white, maybe grey. He looked weak. He looked sick. I barely recognized him, no way he looked like a Quileute now.

"Hi, honey," Seth whispered as Nessie leaned in for a kiss. I looked away.

"How are you?" Seth smiled.

"Better." Her back was to me, but I bet she smiled. She stood back up and gestured to me. Seth smiled at me.

"Hi, Jacob." I waved.

"Hi, Seth."

"Great to see you." I shrugged.

"I was around." Suddenly, an older looking Brady came into the room. Wow, time flies.

"Nessie!" He said, hugging her.

_Nessie?_ I gave her a look as she hugged Brady back. She mouthed "later" to me.

"Um, Brady, you remember Jacob?" he looked at me.

"Hello, Jacob." He smiled. I smiled back.

The visit was pretty long. Nessie lay beside Seth a lot. I could see the way he looked at her, almost a mirror to my face, even now, like I remember. But her to him, I couldn't describe. Did she really feel the same about him? This bugged me a lot.

* * *

><p><strong>PLACE: CLEARWATER HOUSE<strong>

* * *

><p>We left when visiting hours were over. She kept talking about insurance and money, and fundraisers. I recalled seeing a jar on Chris' cash register for a local cancer patient. She even talked about a test he could take, but insurance wouldn't pay for it. She also talked about melanoma, by the end of the day, I knew more about it than I thought I would in a lifetime.<p>

We were inside and she poured us both a glass of wine as I sat in the living room. It started to rain and I began to worry about Brady. We left him with Seth since Nessie said he will ride his bike.

"He won't leave until the rain stops. I don't think Seth would let him either." She sat next to me with the two glasses in her hands. I took one and she sat beside me.

"Speaking of Brady, why did he call you Nessie? I half expected him to call you mom." She bit her lip.

"Well, I dropped one of the letters you sent me and he saw the name _Nessie_. He's been calling me that ever since."

"What about Seth?" She shrugged.

"He doesn't really mind." I nodded and we both took sips of our wine.

"I don't know what I'm doing here." I said, almost pissed. "I mean, what are _we_ doing?" I knew I had to ask what's been on mind for three years. "I mean, we're sitting and drinking, but we're not really saying anything. We're not talking."

She looked at me as if she knew what I was going to say. "What do you want to talk about, then?"

"Why didn't you call?" She sighed. "Why didn't you call me? Don't you think I deserved a better explanation than that letter?" I was beginning to raise my voice a little, she wasn't looking at me.

"I couldn't." Complete bull.

"You _couldn't_?" I snorted. "You thought that little of me, that you couldn't."

"I couldn't because I couldn't!" She was on the same level as me.

"Well then, you could've called! I could've changed your mind! Why?"

"Because hearing your voice I would've changed my mind!" She stood up and looked out the window, then at me. "Is that why you've come all this way, Jacob? To hear me say that? Seth is sick and he needs me! He needs me to take care of Brady, to take over everything! I didn't know what to do, you were so far away and I didn't know where the Hell you were or if you were dying or not, or if you were already dead!" I walked toward her as she said this and took her into my eyes as tears poured down her face and soaking my shirt. "I had no choice." She whispered. I understood now.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: REVIEW REVIEW! THIS STORY IS ALMOST DONE! VOTE AND REVIEW AND REVIEW AND VOTE! (and like and follow :D)<strong>


	20. Happiness

**AN: After this chapter, there's only two chapters left (unless you VOTE!). I'm putting up another poll in a few days and I'm taking out some options so vote please on my profile and I'll take it down probably like... Sunday or Monday? Okay, so here y'all go!**

* * *

><p><em>"One night will remind you<br>How we touched  
>And went our separate ways<br>If he ever hurts you  
>True love won't desert you<br>You know I still love you  
>Though we touched<br>And went our separate ways_

_Troubled times  
>Caught between confusions and pain, pain, pain<br>Distant eyes  
>Promises we made were in vain, vain, vain<em>_"_

_-Journey, Separate Ways (Worlds Apart)_

* * *

><p><strong>LOCATION: SOMEWHERE IN SOUTHERN ONTARIO<strong>

**PLACE: CLEARWATER HOUSE**

* * *

><p>As we sat on the floor, Nessie got a box of letters and envelopes, ones from me. I looked at each one, telling her where I thought I was at the time when I wrote them. She was very interested with each one. Then she dug to the bottom of the box.<p>

"I even kept the very first one you wrote me." She handed it to me and I smiled, rereading the three words I put there: _I love you._

"I remember that." I remembered how hard it was for me to write them as well. Then I got serious. "I really meant them, too." I commented. She looked at me for a second. It was dark, but I thought I saw hope in her eyes. I gave her the same look.

I leaned in and she kept still, I wondered if she was really going to let me do this. I was beginning to this she was. My eyes closed, but then I felt her pull back.

"Um... sorry." She bit her lip. I nodded, but inside, I was pissed at her for playing with my heart like that. Then she reached across the table to reach for the letter before 9-11, when she spilt the wine from the table and onto both our shirts.

"Crap." She muttered. I didn't bother commenting her swear. She looked at me. "Sorry."

"I'm sure it'll come out." She sighed.

"Well, the washroom is upstairs, come on." I followed her and she pointed at a door down the hall on the left. "I'm just going to change here."

She entered the room on the left and I went to the washroom to wash the wine out. When I looked in the mirror, I could see Nessie didn't close the door completely in her bedroom.

I could see her bare back, changing out of her shirt and into a dry one. As she was about to put it on, she stopped. I looked away, but then realized she kept looking at me, so I looked back. From this angle, I could see more than back.

It was clear what we both wanted, the shine of her left hand's third finger didn't bother me. Right now, it was just a piece of jewelry as we stepped forward toward each other.

I was sure. I was sure this time we were going to go through with this. That I could make her mine again and forget the dying man in the hospital... that was until we heard screaming and crashing.

"Oh, God!" Nessie put her shirt on fully and started running down the stairs, I followed.

"What's wrong?" I asked over screaming.

"Brady, it happens sometimes when he gets home." Nessie ran to the kitchen to find Brady, probably kicking the walls and cupboards. I stayed where I was, I knew I couldn't help even if I wanted to. I couldn't see anything, I stayed at the bottom of the stairs.

Finally, the screaming was into sobs now.

"I love Daddy..." Brady sobbed into, what I guessed, Nessie's shoulder.

"I know, I do too." Nessie said back to him in a soothing voice.

"But I love him..."

"I know..."

I knew Brady was going to be chanting this for quite a while now, and I would be no help. I left the house without another word.

* * *

><p><strong>PLACE: HOSPITAL<strong>

* * *

><p>I had no idea why in Hell I was here. Maybe because I still had no idea why I was <em>here<em> in the first place. Did I really think Seth had the answer? There was only one way to find out.

I walked inside when visiting hours just started and checked in. Seth was awake and smiled at me as if he expected me to be here.

"Hey, Jake!" He said, a little hoarse.

"Hey, Seth." I took a seat beside him and Seth used his remote to set himself upright on his cot.

"I was hoping you would come today. Is Rennie here too?" I shook my head.

"No, just me." He smiled and then sighed.

"I wanted to say I'm sorry, Jacob." I looked at him, making sure he meant it. Sure looked like he did. "I'm sorry it had to happen with you so far away... But I love her, and she grew to love me. You probably knew I loved her before, right?" I nodded. "I've loved her ever since I was about twelve years old. I tried to be the best friend I could to her, keep her away from freaks like that guy in her freshman year in collage. I could see she loved you though, and you loved her. I don't know how she learned to love me, but she has." I had another question in mind.

"How?" I asked. "How were you able to do it? Loving her and then, not saying anything about it when she loved someone else?" He shrugged.

"It wasn't easy. But I always knew my love was true." He bit his lip. "Can I tell you a secret?" I shrugged and he leaned in to whisper. "Brady's not my son." I leaned back in shock as my eyes grew.

"But... but your girlfriend..." He shrugged.

"I was a virgin before Rennie, after we got married. Me and Kate kept quiet when I was in school. She cheated on me."

"But how? You dropped out of school, your mom kicked you out!"

"Kate left me and Brady a year after he was born, I couldn't handle it. Taking care of a kid that wasn't mine. But I loved him, and Rennie took care of him every chance she got after school. It wasn't easy, but Rennie is the one that always kept me going." That was believable, but I couldn't believe how much he was saying to me. He sighed. "I'm glad I married her. It's the best thing I ever did, especially because now, there's going to be someone who'd always take care of him..." He sighed and looked out the window. "I feel selfish. I mean, it's not fair. What if she wants to remarry? No one is as kind hearted as Rennie to accept Brady..." He looked at me, hope in his eyes. "Would you?"

Woah! Did Seth just ask me to marry Nessie if he doesn't make it? To take care of Nessie and accept Brady as we both take care of him together? To act like Seth-or the unknown father Brady has? I was sure Brady liked me, but not enough to be his dad... did he?

Seth sighed and looked out the window.

"I know it's a lot to ask... but there's no one else. Leah wants to get on with her life as if I don't exist. My mom..." He snorted. "Forget it. But you... Rennie still loves you. It's clear as day on her face. She'll never love me as much as she loves you..." He looked at me. "Just think about it, Jacob. If I'm gone, who's Rennie going to turn to for comfort?"

After looking away from me again, I got up, seeing that what he just said was a sign that our conversation was over. Before I left, I had to ask.

"Seth... how did you know your love for Rennie was true? I don't doubt mine and her love, but I just want to make sure." He smiled and looked at me again.

"Her happiness was all I cared about, Jacob. I didn't care if she loved me or not, all I wanted was for her to be happy. If marrying you made her happy, I would've proudly been her best man. If marrying me would've made her happy, I would've been happy to be the groom. If she's happy, I'm happy. That's true love, Jake. Remember that." He looked away again.

That's when I knew why I was here. I just couldn't believe it took meeting Seth to figure it out.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Writing this actually shocked me xD Especially the part where I wrote "Brady's not my son." I was frozen for like, ten seconds (I wonder if it makes teh same impact of u reading it... xD), so, review and vote!<strong>


	21. Goodbye

**AN: Almost cried myself writing this :'( Even with writing the lyrics before the chapter (no, I don't copy and paste from google :P). Be prepared (feel free to take this time to get a tissue box next to your computer)... You got them? No? take your time i'm not going anywhere... Now? Okay, here you go :')**

**Don't own anything!**

* * *

><p><em>"I see your face in my mind as I drive away,<em>

_'Cause none of us thought it was gonna end that way._

_People are people and sometimes we change our minds,_

_But it's killing me to see you go after all this time._

_Music starts playing like the end of a sad movie,_

_It's the kind of ending you don't really want to see,_

_'Cause it's tragedy and It'll only bring you down,_

_Now I don't know what to be without you around._

_And we know it's never simple never easy,_

_Never a clean break no one here to save me._

_You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand._

_And I can't_

_Breathe without you, but I have to _

_Breathe without you, but I have to._

_Never wanted this, never want to see you hurt._

_Every little bump in the road I try to swerve._

_People are people and sometimes it doesn't work out,_

_And nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out._

_And we know it's never simple never easy,_

_Never a clean break, no one here to save me._

_You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand._

_And I can't_

_Breathe without you, but I have to _

_Breathe without you but I have to._

_It's two am feeling like I just lost a friend._

_Hope you know it's not easy, easy for me._

_It's two am feeling like I just lost a friend._

_Hope you know this ain't easy, easy for me._

_And we know it's never simple never easy,_

_Never a clean break no one here to save me._

_Oh, I can't_

_Breathe without you, but I have to_

_Breathe without you, but I have to_

_Breathe without you, but I have to._

_I'm sorry, I'm sorry._

_I'm sorry, I'm sorry._

_I'm sorry, I'm sorry._

_I'm sorry..."_

_-Taylor Swift and Colbie Caillat, Breathe_

* * *

><p><strong>LOCATION: SOMEWHERE IN SOUTHERN ONTARIO<strong>

**PLACE: HOSPITAL PARKING LOT**

* * *

><p>As I walked outside, Seth's words rung in my ear. I couldn't believe it was right there in my face, what I had to do, but first I had to get out of here.<p>

"Jake!" I turned and saw Nessie on the other side of the parking lot walking toward me. I walked to her as well, I had to end this. "You left without saying goodbye last night." She said when I reached her.

"Yeah, sorry. I didn't want to interfere with you and Brady, besides, it was late." She nodded.

"Well then, what are you doing here?"

"I was paying Seth a visit." I was glad she didn't ask why. I didn't know how to do this. I started with an exit. "I have to go back to the army today, I have some business to take care of before I leave."

"Oh, sorry," She sighed. She knew this is goodbye, but kept talking. "Can I write to you?" I wanted so badly to say yes, but I shook my head.

"I don't think that's a good idea... You have a husband to take care of, Ness. There's you, Seth, and Brady. There's no room for me." Tears started forming in her eyes, I tried to stop my own.

"Will I ever see you again?" I couldn't lie.

"I kind of hope not..." She wiped away the tears that escaped from her eyes and I took her face into my hands. "But look, if things don't work out, I'm here for you. I'm sorry, but as long as Seth is in the picture, there's no place for me in your life now." She nodded and I leaned in and kissed her one last time. She didn't pull away, and my tears began falling.

"I love you, Jacob." She whispered.

"I'll always love you, Renesmee Cullen." I grabbed her into one last hug, which lasted for what felt like hours. I didn't bother holding back tears.

It took one act of kindness to start this.

Three words to change two people.

Now, it took one word to end it.

When we pulled away, I said it: "Goodbye." Then I got in my car and drove away, wishing I never did.

* * *

><p><strong>LOCATION: SOMEWHERE IN SOUTHERN ONTARIO<strong>

* * *

><p>I was hoping I didn't have to stop for gas so I could get as far away from Nessie as possible before I turn around and go back to her, begging her to take me back. I still had one more thing to do, and it started with a phone call.<p>

After I thought I was far enough, I stopped and walked to the pay phone and put in two dollars, since it was long distance, I had to put in more money. I did so and dialed a number I found in the phone book.

I got an answer after the third ring.

_"Hello?" _Asked an old voice.

"Hi, is this La Push's antique shop?"

_"Yes, it is."_

"Hello, my name is Jacob Black, Billy Black is my father. I come to an understanding that you've been wanting his collection of books."

_"Oh yes, Mr Black. I've offered him plenty. A collection like his is not cheap. How is he by the way?"_

"He's recently passed." The mood in the man's voice changed.

_"Oh. I'm sorry."_

"It's okay..." I paused, thinking about Nessie and Seth, and how my dad would forgive me for what I was about to do. "How much do you think a collection like his is worth?"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: How many tissues did you use? (wow that sounds wrong... xD). I'm sorry, yes, it's sad (I cried reading the original...). ONE MORE CHAPTER LEFT! For now, I'll put up a poll for what I'm going to do next (I'm thinking of sticking to movie stuff... just adorible chick flicks :P I may take a break before I start though... when I'm done midnight moon, I'm taking a month or so off to work on stuff xD). Yeah, so REVIEW REVIEW and VOTE!<strong>


	22. Starting Over 2010

**AN: Here we are... the epilogue... the last chapter... all anouncements at the bottom as well as my goodbyes... *voice cracking while imagining me saying this*... I won't lie, I got emotional opening the Dear Jacob file on my TextEdit one last time... **

**Don't own this, but i do own the editing to the Dear Jacob theme song :')**

* * *

><p><em>"There I was again tonight,<em>

_Forcing laughter faking smiles,_

_Same old tired lonely place._

_Walls of insincerity,_

_Shifting eyes in vacancy,_

_Vanished when I saw your face._

_All I can say is it was enchanting to meet you..._

_This night is sparkling,_

_Don't you let it go,_

_I'm wonderstruck,_

_Blushing all the way home._

_I'll spend forever wondering if you knew:_

_I was enchanted to meet you, too._

_This is me praying that_

_This was the very first page,_

_Not where the story line ends._

_My thoughts will echo your name_

_Until I see you again._

_These are the words I held back _

_As I was leaving too soon:_

_I was enchanted to meet you, too._

_Please don't be in love with someone else._

_Please don't have somebody waiting on you._

_Please don't be in love with someone else._

_Please don't have somebody waiting on you..."_

_-Owl City, Enchanted _(The _Dear Jacob_ Theme)

* * *

><p><strong>DATE: JULY 2010<strong>

**LOCATION: AFGHANISTAN**

* * *

><p>"<em>And then, without permission, BAM!<em>" I made some of the soldiers jump a little, I smiled in humor and continued reading from the ancient book. "_They're wolves._"

"Ah, come on, Jake!" My new friend, Mike Harris, laughed with me along with the others. "Let's hear about the one about the wife who kills herself!"

"Oh, an all time favourite, huh?" Everyone cheered and I flipped a few pages of Billy's favourite book.

"Jacob Black!" I turned to the guy calling my name. It was the mail carrier. "You got a letter." I raised an eyebrow as he handed it to me. I wasn't expecting anything. The house was sold, Billy's dead, who could it be?

I didn't bother looking at the address of who it was from, because I had a feeling I knew. A feeling, but I wasn't sure, until I read the letter and I recognized the handwriting.

_Dear Jacob,_

_It's been nearly eight years since I've written a letter to you on an actual sheet of paper with an actual pen. So, I decided to write to you about the things that have happened:_

_A few days after you left,Seth received an anonymous-and very generous donation. The money was able to give Seth something. Something the insurance companies couldn't give: Time._

_Time to spend with his son. Time to say goodbye... The problem with time I've learned is that whether it's those two weeks I got to spend with you, or those last two months I got to spend with him is that it always runs out._

_I don't know where you are in the world Jacob, but I know that I lost the right to know years ago. But no matter how many years go by, living every day, I know one thing:_

_I'll see you soon then,_

_Nessie_

* * *

><p><strong>DATE: SEPTEMBER 2010<strong>

**LOCATION: LA PUSH, WASHINGTON**

* * *

><p>What does it mean to truly love another? I knew, I should've known the whole time. I knew I did the right thing, from the very beginning. I sold the books for less than they were worth, but keeping my dad's made me feel better about the whole thing. The keeper suggested I pass it down to my future kids-If I have any- and so on.<p>

I was okay. More than okay. I read Nessie's letter over and over to assure myself of everything. She was happy, that was all I needed to know. Now all that was on my mind was trying to find a place to live. The army was in the past now, and Forks made me feel like home.

A walk down La Push was all I needed, and I was right. I stood in the freezing water, barefoot. Feeling the cool breeze against me. Jeans and a tee shirt felt like nothing to heavy army gear. This was what I needed. But I knew, I needed one more thing to make the day perfect, it was almost sunset and I looked at the cliffs.

I recognized her immediately. The copper hair in the wind as she sat cross-legged. She looked in the same direction as I did, then she looked at me. Although it was far, I could see her smiling as she got up. I went in the same direction toward her.

Eventually, we reached each other. She looked good. She looked happy. Her copper hair was longer now, but she was more beautiful than I remembered.

We didn't know what to do. But then Nessie put her arms around my neck and we met in a long embrace.

That's when we both knew, it was time to start over again...

* * *

><p><strong>AN: The End :') Thank you so much for reviewing this story... and a shout out to my YouTube viewers, Love you all! <strong>

**The poll is still up for the next twist story. I have "PS I Love You", "(500) Days of Summer", and returning "A Walk To Remember" back to the poll (rewriting "The Twilight Notebook" and taking care of errors is also a selection. I may do it anyways so...). **

**Don't forget to download the "Dear Jacob Theme" for free on 4shared (link on my profile page). **

**Those of you who havent read "The Twilight Notebook", it was my starting point of making these twists. It's based off the Notebook where Jacob falls for Nessie instantly and she grows to love him in summer love. **

**Also, don't forget to read (what i think) is my most romantic book coming up, "Forbidden Woods" which is being released here on October 11th, 2011. Trailers are up and I think you might really like them :).**

**I'm no good at these goodbyes... so thank you so much everyone and I love you all. Keep reading and "subscribe/alert" for more romance stuff I know you'll love. It'll be worth your while. If not, feel free to keep alerted to this story for when i post the next twist story when it is chosen. **

**Thank you and I love you all :')**


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